tripperfunster: (fangirl)

My cats are TOTALLY onboard for paper cuts! You should see them with their tiny scissors!

That slightly smaller black cat is Squishy, btw. He is no longer amoeba sized! Back story here, if you missed it!
tripperfunster: (fangirl)

We live in the country, and 'stray' cats like to come and hang around our house. I use quotations, because they are at SOME point, owned by our neighbour who thinks that having a shit-ton of wild cats running around is somehow a good thing, so he lets them breed willy-nilly, never vaccinates or fixes any of them and feeds them only occasionally. (lest they not hunt mice, amirite?)

We take pity on the poor, starving, pregnant things and feed them. One cat we named Mama (for obvs reasons) has given birth a bunch of times in our shed, and we feed them, collect the babies when they're old enough and take them to the humane society. (we used to adopt them out ourselves, when we had the pet store.)

Mama is not a friendly cat, and has even thwarted my attempts to trap her to get her fixed. She does hang around the house, and let us touch her babies, but refuses to be touched herself. Cue last week, when my hubby was in the shed for something, and almost steps on this little newborn kitten. He had no idea where Mama was, so put the baby in an open box with a hot water bottle, in hopes that she would come back for it. Nope.

The next day he found where the babies were, and snuck this little one in with the other 7. SEVEN! OMG. Three days later she moved the babies under our chicken shed, but left this one behind. Hubby found her again, and tried to shove this little guy in there too, but the next day he was crawling around in the cold grass mewling.

Mama was at our front door, eating, so he took the baby to her. She licked it a few times, finished eating, then wandered away, not giving two fucks about baby kitty.

The poor thing was FREEZING cold, so we brought it in the house and I've been feeding it every few hours. yay me! Not

Ironically, we just got a new kitten a couple of months ago! (from a different cat that gave birth here) and our other cat is a baby from Mama's litter last year. I DON'T NEED ANOTHER CAT!

I mean, he might not even live. They often abandon kittens that aren't quite right, but seriously, this thing lived for it's first 24 hours with no food, and then spent the night in the cold with no food a few days later and is still kicking, so he's a fighter for sure! Hubby named him 'Squishy' :D
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
So, if I was to open either a small stained glass storefront, or just an online store for stained glass, what do you think would be the best name for it?

Pane in the Glass

Kick Some Glass

The Glass Hole

Kiln me Softly

License to Kiln

Dressed to Kiln

Also? This.

My poor cat and dog had no freakin' idea why ANYONE would like to hang out in the bathtub.
tripperfunster: (fangirl)

Peacock and budgie feathers plus one snake skin. So cool!
tripperfunster: (fangirl)

So many things to examine and be grossed out about!macromouth
I used to own one of those magnification make up mirrors, and it was the best day of my life when the lights in it died and it got trashed. I REALLY don't need to know about all of the imperfections on my face. God knows nobody else is looking at me that closely, why the hell should I suffer over it?
This is Quincey's eye. I am AMAZED at all the little freaky fibers and strands and holes in the iris. Super freakin' cool and somewhat disturbing and beautiful too!
Here is the toe pad of my dog 'Captain's' toe.

Any suggestions of other things to look at are much appreciated. I'll post them here if they look cool. It's digital, so I'm a bit limited because it hooks up to my computer, so 'elephant skin from the zoo' is not an option. ;)
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
Hello everyone!

Life has been busy, but good, so here's some photos of what's been going on in my life lately.

My local art store was having a kid's product promo, but I just couldn't resist getting a pic with these two. I showed the picture to my friends 4 year old daughter, and later, she very proudly told her older sister that "Tripper knows Princesses! REAL ONES!" :D

This really nice sex shop (right beside the art store … one stop shop!) always has great signs. I particularly liked this one.

I thought it would be cool to take a picture with this guy on my face. I was wrong. They have teeny-tiny claws that they use to 'stick' to stuff, and they scratched the hell out of my cheek! It didn't leave any marks or anything, but it really sort of burned for an hour or so afterwards.

This is the 'art' on the yogurt shop I frequent. It is OMG SO BAD! Like, scary bad. No, really, take a long look at how horrible and nightmare inducing it is. I had to take photographic documentation of it. *shudder*

Pumpkin fail. I had wanted to carve out 'Darryl' from the Walking Dead, but this pumpkin sucked balls. The 'meat' of it was way to thin, and what was there, was all stringy, like spaghetti squash. So I just made it a crappy, scary face instead.
I did a zombie for halloween this year. Liquid latex and kleenex and some freaky contacts. He's before I painted it up.
And here's after! It stayed on really well all day, even with my stuffing my face with candy and tacos, but hurt like a BITCH to take off! I think I pulled out every single hair on that side of my face.

Happy halloween everyone!
tripperfunster: (fangirl)

Okay, lets see if my link works!!!! This was done the same day as the photos, but I am incapable of anything tech, so this took time.

And then today, at the reptile expo, this happened.
cut for big spiders )

Not only am I eating one, but the other one is on my head. :D
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
Today I made a lightbox via instructions on the interwebs. We've had some adorable baby chicks and ducks lately, and I wanted to photograph them.

The problem is, my camera is WAY beyond my skill set of point and click. I generally keep it on the 'auto' setting, and shut the flash off, but the light box proved to be tricky and I tried a million settings and wasn't really happy with any of them. (and didn't understand any of them either.)

I have the options of (I assume) shutter speed, from 80 up to 1600. I also have the option of C1, C2, M, AV, TV, P (the afore mentioned) auto, scn and movie.

The camera seemed to have trouble focusing, so I moved it physically back and then zoomed in. Any hints or tips would be welcome. Any hints on getting a chick to sit the fuck still and look at the camera would also be appreciated. ;)


These were tweaked quite a bit in ps, to get rid of the overtly yellow colour and give them more contrast.
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
Saturday a customer comes into our store, carrying a little rodent in his hands. (I wasn't at work this day, so this is what I'm to understand.) He wants to buy some food for this rodent, and when the girls ask him what it is, he says it's a mouse and he found it under a bridge.

The girls say it looked more like a vole . It jumped out of his hands and ran across the counter where it was caught and given back to him.

I'm no zoologist, but picking up strange rodents and walking around with them in your hands is practically an invitation for rabies or the hantivirus or something. Whatever, it takes all kinds.

On Sunday I DID work, and this fellow was back in the store with his vole. Except it didn't run around on the counter. It didn't run around at all. He just held it in his hand, and it lay there, kind of curled up, and honestly? It looked dead. It was pouring rain outside, and the thing was soaked, so I thought … Whatevs. Maybe it's just sick? I dunno. The guy told some story about how when McDonalds told him he couldn't bring his (dead) rodent in the restaurant, he had a hissy fit and swore at them and threw his drink on the ground. Nice guy.

On TUESDAY the guy was back, and I didn't have to look at the vole to know it was dead. You could SMELL the decay. Ugh! It was sort of bloated and greasy looking, and I'm no Medical Examiner, but this thing was dead. LONG dead. The guy wanted a cage for his pet, and also a water bottle. But he didn't want his pet to have to stretch up to reach the bottle. ? Probably not an issue, KWIM?

I felt kind of bad taking his money, but I also remember his hissy fit story, so I also didn't really want to piss him off. To be clear, if he wasn't holding a dead vole, I wouldn't have thought him to be terribly strange. A bit odd, perhaps, but not completely fucked up, and certainly not mentally challenged. When he went to pay for his cage, he put the vole on the counter and it made a little 'thump'. I gently said "Uh … are you sure he's okay? He doesn't really look okay to me."

"Oh no, he's fine!" says the guy, "He just sleeps during the day."


He was back today. With his vole. I wasn't there, but apparently it doesn't smell anymore. It's just starting to … mummify? I wonder if he'll keep bringing it back when it's just bones? He bought some hamster tubes, so his pet can run through them and have fun. The girls gently asked AGAIN if his pet was feeling okay, and he said that it was.

I would almost think we're being Punk'd, but I seriously doubt any actor would agree to carry around a decaying rodent.
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
Remember that time I Circumsized a duck? Of course you do! Unless you've blocked it out, which I totally understand.

Well this time it was my horse, although, thankfully, his penis was just fine and needed no attention from me.

Spock is old and blind and often gets bullied by my other horses. To cut down on this, we corral him by himself at feeding time so they don't push him around and steal his food, but somewhere, somehow, he got a good bite on his shoulder and it swelled right up.

It didn't seem infected. It wasn't warm to the touch, and although swollen, it wasn't firm, just ... fluidy. Kind of like and I.V. bag. (or a breast implant??) My son once twisted his knee quite badly and it swelled up and the doctors drained it with a large gauge needle. HOW HARD COULD IT BE, AMIRITE?

So, I went out with my trusty pumpkin carving craft knife, some polysporin and three paper towels. I had hubby hold him in place and I went to work. Spock didn't mind at all, just ate his oats and ignored me completely, as did hubby, because he cannot handle blood. ;)

Well, lets just say that three paper towels was about 300 short of what I needed. You'd think I'd slit his throat instead of this boo boo. Except, of course, that the blood was watery and brownish, not artery-red. 200 gallons later, I slathered on the polysporin, and we both went our separate ways.

Except it came back.

I called the vet, and he said that what i'd done was pretty much exactly what he would have, except I needed to CUT THE HOLE BIGGER and then slather it with Vaseline, so that it stayed open and the wound could continue to drain. Yummy! Thank god it's too cold for bugs now, because yuck.

cut for blood and gore )

BTW, hubby wasn't home, so I did this on my own, and Spock happily stood there, munching on his bucket of oats while I sliced and squeezed and squished and vaselined him. It's obviously not bothering him much.
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
Item #27
Get your ducks in row. 4 of them. But they must be live ducks in movie theatre seats.

ducks ahoy )

This was one of those, "I know a guy who knows a guy" type situations. There is a small theatre downtown that is used for both independent movies and business gatherings etc, and I tried to get a hold of the owners, but had no luck. Then I had lunch with an old friend (the fellow who prints my porny stickers for me) and I asked him if he knew anyone who owned a movie theatre.

Luck would have it that he knew the guy in charge of one of the malls, which has an Imax theatre that was shut down. He made the phone call, and voila! I had a connection.

I then went to a different (working) theatre and asked them if I could have some drink cups and popcorn bags. I prefaced it like this:

Me: Hi! I'm doing this scavenger hunt (bla bla bla) and I need to get four live ducks into a movie theatre.
Her: 0_o
Me: But I already have that covered. I just need some drink cups and popcorn bags.

tripperfunster: (fangirl)
I had originally wanted to put a BUNCH of tanktops on a bunch of roosters, but good luck finding anything small enough! I looked at a childrens clothing warehouse, Walmart and a couple of other places, but nope. Everyone had switched over to fall/winter clothes already.

And then I said ... Duh! Dog clothes! We sell shirts for dogs, there must be SOMETHING there I can use.

I brought a few home, but actually dressing them turned out to be problematic, so we just did one.

Big white cock )

"Governor" as he's called, was very much DO NOT WANT about the shirt, and really, I don't blame him. I ended up with a nice scrape on my arm. An added problem was that the way chickens are built, the logo on the shirt was really tilted down, so I practically had to lay on the (filthy) ground to get a shot where the GISHWHES logo could be seen.
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
More shots of my piggy and some with my toroise. They seem to get along quite well.

Very cute pig and kind of ornery looking tortoise )

Getting him to sit still with flowers on him was not easy! Hubby says he looks delicious in that last one. ;)
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
Today we went to the Morris Stampede, which is a bit of a low-rent, small town thing, with chuck wagon races and rides and a petting zoo, etc. It turns out I know the lady running the petting zoo, I'd bought a goat from her a few years back. Anyhoo, at the zoo there was this CUUUUUTE little polka-dot pot bellied pig running around, and I was IN LOVE with it.

I told her that it was so cute that I almost ate it, and she said IT WAS FOR SALE. omg. Never tell me that a cute animal is available for me to take home and smother with lurve.

Needless to say, I now own the CUTEST PIG IN THE UNIVERSE. He has polka dots!

I'll post more pics soon.

This is him bumping noses with my bunny Chelsea. I named him MORRIS.
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
Yes. Yes I did.

A couple of days ago, hubby brought in a duck who had a big clump of poop stuck(frozen) to his butt. So we set him up in a cage, with a big dish of water to swim in and waited for it to melt off. Which it did. Except there was still a little somethin' somethin' hanging down. I gave it another day or two, but nope, not poop. I took a closer look, and yeah ... it was his little wang.

Most birds don't have a dick, they just rub their cloaca against the one of the female sex and through MAGIC, babies happen. But I guess that waterfowl have more challenges what with BEING IN THE WATER, so god gave them willies. <--- pure science!!!

Anyhoo, I googled PROLAPSED DUCK WANG, and lo and behold, there were tons of articles about it. It would seem to be a somewhat common problem, and the instructions were to CUT OFF THE DRIED END OF THE DUCK-DICK, then slather it with polysporin, then SHOVE IT BACK IN THE HOLE.

This is my life.

Hubby was kind enough to hold the duck while I performed the ... surgery, but he refused to look. :D

I used nail clippers for the Bris (nice sharp ones) and it came off just fine. No blood. (as the internet promised.) Shoving his wang back in his cloaca was ... disturbing, although the duck didn't seem to mind at all. He actually slipped me a piece of paper with his number on it!

There could be heard, at some point, someone screaming :"OMG I'M FINGERING A DUCK!!"

Duck seems to be just fine now.
I cannot wash my hands enough.
tripperfunster: (fangirl)

news article about moi

Is the Sun a rag in every province/country? I mean, the article is fair, but the title is hilarious. I might have to have this put on my gravestone.

Here lies Tripper.
She was not a scumbag.

Tommorrow, I actually have been asked (by PIJAC)* to stand in front of city council and speak to the proposed ban of dogs in pet stores and also to the proposed list of 'allowed' animals. (ie: what types of reptiles are allowed/not allowed in the city.)

Now, I'm pretty cool getting up in front of a crowd and talking about peen, but this should be interesting. And by interesting, I mean eye-gougingly repetitive and dry.

*PIJAC = Pet Industry Joint Advisory Council. (no, not the cool kind of joints ...)
tripperfunster: (fangirl)

To lose weight. ;)

It's a fake cigarrette, btw. I got it at a Halloween store.
tripperfunster: (Default)
No, not the superheroes, the geese! If you recall a few months back, we got a 'pair' of African Geese which we named Steve and Tony. link to pics We had had a fox take out some of our chickens and guinea fowl, but he'd never bothered with the geese, most likely because of their size.

Two days ago Tony the goose went missing. These two stick to each other like the slash couple that we named them after, so when one of them didn't show up to get fed that morning I knew it could only be bad news.

I did a search of our property and outlying areas, looking for SOME sort of evidence. Generally, when a fox or owl gets something, there is a shit-ton of feathers left behind, but nothing!

A new family moved in way down the road and I've seen their large-breed dog on our property, but have never seen him chasing the chickens around, so ..? I even drove down to their house, just to see if there was a pile of feathers there, but nope.

And poor Steve has spent the past two days calling and calling for his Tony. It was really quite heartbreaking.

Yesterday afternoon, TONY WAS BACK! He's pretty chewed up (and may not live ... we'll have to wait and see) but ... HE'S ALIVE! I am absolutely gobsmacked and would pay big money to hear his story. If only geese could talk!

Hubby and I caught them (no easy feat) and put them in one of the sheds. We had planned on doing it anyway, when it got cold enough, but I really don't need that dog catching him again, especially when he's already beat up.

I don't know for sure that it was that dog, but ... he's the most likely UNSUB. ;) (for you Criminal Minds peeps). Should I say something to the owners? I don't want my "Hey, welcome to the neighbourhood" to be "Keep your fuckin' dog off my lawn", but I also don't want to worry about my livestock going missing. And obviously, if it WAS the dog, he's not exactly a born killer if Tony survived. My guess is, that the dog took him and way 'playing' with him, a la Mice and Men.

Any thoughts?
tripperfunster: (Default)
Last night, right around closing time a customer came in who was a bit flustered. I'm not sure where he was from (Turkey? Persia?) but due to a language barrier, I was a bit confused as to what he needed. He had a bird. A Chinese bird. His cage was broken.

Trying to figure out what type of bird he had, he said it was outside (in his car, I assumed) so I went out with him to see it. As it turns out, he had been taking it out of his car when the cage broke, so it got away. We went around the corner, and he points in some bushes beside a house. "There it is!!"

I look, and it's THIS type of bird.

Not exactly your typical pet budgie! I have two of these birds at home (Red Golden Pheasant) and they are pretty much impossible to catch, but I went back to the store and grabbed some large fish nets to give it the old college try. And of course, because I'm awesome like that I TOTALLY CAUGHT IT! :D

So, we're walking back to the store, me with this thing clutched to my chest, and the guy says, "They called animal services on me. I can't keep it. Do you want it?"

Uh ... okay. I can't keep him with my other ones, because the males will fight with each other, but we do have another enclosure that would be suitable so ... yeah! Why not?

The other ones are named 'The Malfoys', so I guess this one will be Draco. ;)

As an aside, the amazing Lubricus concom asked me to do the artz for the program, and requested a sleep-over time theme.

Hogwarts tickle fight! )
tripperfunster: (Default)
Ugh, this has been a really crappy year for pets dying. First the Hogrid the pig and then Milky Wave, and we've had a fox taking out our ducks and chickens one by one. Then yesterday, my husband was moving the car into the garage and our goose (Dr. D) dashed out to attack the car and hubby ran over him. Poor hubby just feels awful, but obviously it wasn't his fault. *sigh* I really loved that stupid evil goose.

On the bright side, we seem to have aquired a new pet. A couple of weeks ago one of the puppies at our store broke his leg. (Exact details are still sketchy, but it would seem that a volunteer dropped him by mistake.) So, after a visit to the vet $$$ and a splint, I brought him home to heal up. And, of course, there is NO WAY I can bring an animal home for any amount of time and then not keep him! The kids have been begging for a new dog ever since Harley died (two? Three? years ago) and they are thrilled to death with this little guy. Of course, they wanted something big, like a Great Dane or Golden Retriever, but this little PomXJapanese Chin will just have to do.
Pics or it didn't happen )

Quincey and I went to see the Avengers again tonight. Man, that movie makes me want to be skinny. Well, skinny and ripped! Thank God, if I sit around long enough, eating M&M's the feeling goes away.


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