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Today is NOT WORK SAFE. You have been enticed warned!

Not Work Safe )

Find the whole thing On AO3 or on eljay

special thanks to my photoshop help-desk ladies! I agree, png is the way to go! and the re-sizing helped loads too. <3


Sep. 29th, 2012 12:41 am
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Oh yes, Avengers BB you are PWND! All 28K of you!! Never done a bb before and you can bet that I will never do one again!

I've also done art for two Avengers bb and I"m almost finished the second one for the Snarry bb.

I have so much art and fic and I can't post any of it! *cries spayshul unicorn tears*

I am dying to draw a new comic series for Steve/Tony, but I've been making myself hold off until I was done all this schtuff. AND NOW I'M DONE AND CAN BEGIN ... almost. As soon as I finish the last Snarry bb pic, which is 80% done.

*runs away laughing manically*
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No easy task, I know. :D

For *cough* research, I need you to tell me something SO, SO DIRTY that it would shock a sailor. And in the form of an invitation or command, or even saying what they are going to do to someone else, along the lines of: 'Suck my fat cock, you little whore.'

The dirtier and more sexually suggestive, the better. I need it to be sexual, but it doesn't have to be oral sex like my example.
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Well, if anyone was following the HP fanart fest, I'm sure this will come as no surprise that it was me who drew the Giant Squid/Remus/Snape/Sirius pic. ;p

I don't think the style was a dead give-away, but the subject matter surely was.

This was one of the first times that I drew the elements separately, then put them together on the computer. It was frustrating as hell, but somewhat freeing to be able to move shit around on a whim. Some time in the next 9340593023952 years, I'll get the hang of this digital shit.

Giant Squid and a bunch of nekkid guys )
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Thanks, lj for finally letting me UPLOAD PICS! *kicks that stupid goat in the dick*

Coulson banana )

I had to put him on Fury's banana, because I had no others!
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So I went ahead and did all of the avengers. I also did Coulson, but lj is still being a dick about uploading stuff, and it would seem that two pics is the limit.

Worksafe banana peeps )
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Strangest header evah! :D

Okay, so I drew Loki ... on a banana ... yes. I did that.
I saw it in a book (not with Loki) and said DUDE! HOW FREAKIN' COOL IS THAT AND NOW I MUST TRY IT TOO!

So I did.

On a banana.

Banana Loki is more worksafe than he sounds )

Oddly enough, it is easier to draw on a banana than it is to photograph it.
It's done with a pin, not a pen, and the oxidization(?) is what makes the colour. I'm told it will look even cooler tomorrow, so if it does, I'll photograph it again!
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I went with pencil crayons today. And completely bastardized versions of both uniforms. I don't really like the comic version of Cap's boots, with the big fold-over tops, but drew them anyway. ?? Tony's feet are kind of ... Civil War? He has little cloven hooves in that comic. I couldn't find any good ref photos of Movie!Iron Man's feet.

I think this is VERY COMPELLING EVIDENCE that I need to buy myself the Iron Man hot toy. You know ... for science reference.

Semi-nude but more suggestive than anything )
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This is what I drew on the way home from Lubricus. I didn't manage to quite finish it, and things got busy at work and home, so I just managed to fill in Harry's hair today. I had a heck of a time photographing/scanning it. It's done in fairly light pencil and meh! It looks much better in rl.

Snarry art G rated )

Aaand, as an icebreaker at Lubricus, we did a 'decorate a cock' and dude! Some of the entries were fantastic and hilarious! They used markers and feathers and jewels and ribbons. I didn't take pics, but i think they'll be posted on the lubricus site, and I'll link when they do. I didn't make an entry, but I DID draw the giant template for them!
cut for giant dick pic )
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Oh My God. For realz.

They honestly have the most mind blowingly stupid and contradictory rules over there.
For example:

Sex with furries is okay. ie: You can draw a dude fucking a dude with ears and a tail, but his penis has to be human. It can be RETRACTABLE, but has to look human. You CANNOT draw a totally human dude with a non-human dick. I'm honestly surprised how much of my art this disqualifies.
In fact, they deleted my Double ridged pic, because his dick wasn't human enough.
cut due to peen )

Speaking of tentacles, you can draw someone getting tentacle raped as long as they come from the 'great beyond' (their quote, not mine) but not if you can SEE who the tentacles belong to. Because if you can see where the tents come from, then that's bestiality, right? RIGHT?
cut for tents )

Also? They have bizarre rules about what makes something anthropomorphic. Must have three of the following: Walk upright, have eyebrows, talk, thumbs and ... I forget the other one.

This picture got deleted, due to Doof having sex with a FAKE platypus.
cut for fake platy-sex )
All of the ones of him fucking (or being fucked by) 'smart, lucid' Perry are allowed, but they SPECIFICALLY told me that I couldn't draw 'dumb' Perry, only 'smart' Perry. Even though, yanno, HE'S THE SAME FUCKING PERSON, JUST PRETENDING TO BE A PET WHEN IN FACT HE IS SMART. *sigh*

I won't even get into the time that I pm'd the mods, asking if it was okay if I put up a NON SEXUAL picture of a man and a child, and they said, "Yeah, sure!" and I put it up and they freaked the fuck out, because it's against the TOS to post anything that looks like a REAL child. Fake children are okay. If I was a worse artist, they would have allowed it. Then the told me that the only reason I didn't get suspended, was because I'D ASKED THEM AND THEY'D SAID IT WAS OKAY.

And finally, the jewel in my perverted crown. The pic that got me suspended:
cut for OH THE HUMANITY! )
ETA: So, I tried to contact the mods to say "Duh, pedobear is an acutal character not an actual LIVE ANIMAL, and, of course, since I am suspended, I cannot log in, and therefore cannot contact any mods. Brilliant thinking on their part. There are like ... three people I like on that site, and I'd miss them if I left, but ... yeah ..... not worth the crazy bullshit nazi rules.
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No, not art of airplanes, but art that I drew WHILE ON the plane. mmmm three or more uninterrupted hours to draw. LOVE IT!

Penciled and inked this one on the way to Seattle, then coloured it when I got home. I'm still not sure if I liked the coloured or black and white version better. Maybe I'll try it again with pencil crayons.

Steve and Tony doin' what they do )

Thanks for lookin'!
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Today we have a Snarry and a ... uh ... well, you'll just have to see it for yourself. ;)

Artz under here )

Seriously, Lubricus is the funnest con ever. If there is any chance at all you can make it to the next one, I would highly reccomend it.
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Last night, right around closing time a customer came in who was a bit flustered. I'm not sure where he was from (Turkey? Persia?) but due to a language barrier, I was a bit confused as to what he needed. He had a bird. A Chinese bird. His cage was broken.

Trying to figure out what type of bird he had, he said it was outside (in his car, I assumed) so I went out with him to see it. As it turns out, he had been taking it out of his car when the cage broke, so it got away. We went around the corner, and he points in some bushes beside a house. "There it is!!"

I look, and it's THIS type of bird.

Not exactly your typical pet budgie! I have two of these birds at home (Red Golden Pheasant) and they are pretty much impossible to catch, but I went back to the store and grabbed some large fish nets to give it the old college try. And of course, because I'm awesome like that I TOTALLY CAUGHT IT! :D

So, we're walking back to the store, me with this thing clutched to my chest, and the guy says, "They called animal services on me. I can't keep it. Do you want it?"

Uh ... okay. I can't keep him with my other ones, because the males will fight with each other, but we do have another enclosure that would be suitable so ... yeah! Why not?

The other ones are named 'The Malfoys', so I guess this one will be Draco. ;)

As an aside, the amazing Lubricus concom asked me to do the artz for the program, and requested a sleep-over time theme.

Hogwarts tickle fight! )
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On my looong way home from Lubricus, I realized I was still wearing my Cap/Iron Man totes gay for each other shirt. (featuring the image: )

I hadn't really thought much about it until I noticed that people were staring. While I was waiting to get strip searched put throught the airport security, I noticed one of the guards give me the big hairy eyeball, then nudge his co-worker, who stared, then smiled. He whispered something to her, then she did the big 'No! I'm not going to, YOU do it!'. When I finally got to the front of the line, he was all,'what's up with your shirt? cap and Iron Man are my favorites.'.' Mine too!' I replied.

'but...but... They hate each other!'
'No they don't! They have SEXUAL tension.'
So I pulled out my Avengers Prime from my bag and showed him the scene of naked!Tony teasing Steve, and saying that he couldn't keep his hands off of him, and them riding a horse together while Tonez is still nekkid. And he was all; Well I'll be damned! :D. I have to go back and re-read all my old comics! Have a nice day!

Then later the cute Canadian border crossing guy told me he loved my shirt, and the cute (and maybe gay?) flight attendant also said he liked it and asked where I got it.

Ice Breakerz? I haz one!
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First question: I'm hosting a panel/roundtable at Lubricus, which is basically MSTing REALLY bad HP fic. Plz to be linking me to the absolutely, hilariously bad fic that you've read. We'll just be reading a paragraph or two from each, and not mentioning authors or anything.

Second Question: Okay, New Yorkers, I need your help! Please give me a good estimate on the address of Stark Tower. And I also need a bad estimate on what it would be. If you knew New York, but weren't that smart, where would you guess the address to be?

Thanks in advance!!
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Okay, so far I did this:
cut for images )
And here he is doing his best Burt Renolds impersonation. ;) I am honestly not sure why moustaches are creepy but goatees are sexy. *well kempt ones only. No face pony-tails plz*

More to come!!

Day 56

Aug. 8th, 2012 01:43 am
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Let's play WIP!

I always bitch and moan at my kids when they borrow my art pens. Mostly because they have no sense of RETURNING THINGS and/or not completely man-handling and ruining things. So the other day I was out at the drugstore and there was this GIANT WHEEL OF PENS and I said Dude! I must buy this for my evil children!

And, of course, once my kids were playing with them, I said Dude! I wanna play too! So many pretteh colours!

So here's another scribble Tony, but this time with more than five colours. :D

Oh god, they look HORRIBLE at first!! )

Tommorrow some more! (if my kids don't steal their markers back!!)

Day 55

Aug. 6th, 2012 02:14 pm
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I just ate a peacock egg for lunch. Trufax.

I kind of feel like I should now have some sort of superpowers or invincibilty or sumthin'.

Our male peacock is too young to breed, and the female is obviously NOT too young to breed. (they usually have to be at least two or three years old.) We put some eggs in the incubator, just in case, but nope, nothing there, so any subsequent eggs she laid have gone IN MAH BELLEH! And the kids, although I didn't tell them. Quincey would think it was cool, and Harry would probably feign death.

As compared to chicken eggs, they are BIGGER, obviously, but milder too. Duck eggs have a kind of thick membrane around them and a harsher taste. Even our pig (when he was alive) didn't care for them, but loved chicken eggs.

What strange things have YOU eaten lately? Double ententres allowed and encouraged.
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a) have you ever bid on a 'fandom' auction or purchased a commission?

b) did you get what you paid for? Or did you get burned?

I bid on three different artists/writers in two different fandom auctions (ie. help_haiti and help_japan) and I got burned on all three. *grumpy face* Do I have particularly bad luck? Or are artists/writers just that unreliable?

As for commish: I've only bought two or three and have been very happy with the results of all. I've been ripped off on ebay once or twice, but over-all have had a positive experience.
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You know PWP fic? Well, this is PWP art. Tony/? In my head it's Steve, but it could be juuuust about anyone with a dick.

Do I even have to say NWS???? )

Wow, with school out, it's REALLY hard to draw porn! I have to wait until the kids are asleep, and then I'm all paranoid about leaving it somewhere where they'll find it. I don't need to have the awkward oral sex talk with my 9 and 10 year olds. 0_o


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