tripperfunster: (fangirl)
Saturday a customer comes into our store, carrying a little rodent in his hands. (I wasn't at work this day, so this is what I'm to understand.) He wants to buy some food for this rodent, and when the girls ask him what it is, he says it's a mouse and he found it under a bridge.

The girls say it looked more like a vole . It jumped out of his hands and ran across the counter where it was caught and given back to him.

I'm no zoologist, but picking up strange rodents and walking around with them in your hands is practically an invitation for rabies or the hantivirus or something. Whatever, it takes all kinds.

On Sunday I DID work, and this fellow was back in the store with his vole. Except it didn't run around on the counter. It didn't run around at all. He just held it in his hand, and it lay there, kind of curled up, and honestly? It looked dead. It was pouring rain outside, and the thing was soaked, so I thought … Whatevs. Maybe it's just sick? I dunno. The guy told some story about how when McDonalds told him he couldn't bring his (dead) rodent in the restaurant, he had a hissy fit and swore at them and threw his drink on the ground. Nice guy.

On TUESDAY the guy was back, and I didn't have to look at the vole to know it was dead. You could SMELL the decay. Ugh! It was sort of bloated and greasy looking, and I'm no Medical Examiner, but this thing was dead. LONG dead. The guy wanted a cage for his pet, and also a water bottle. But he didn't want his pet to have to stretch up to reach the bottle. ? Probably not an issue, KWIM?

I felt kind of bad taking his money, but I also remember his hissy fit story, so I also didn't really want to piss him off. To be clear, if he wasn't holding a dead vole, I wouldn't have thought him to be terribly strange. A bit odd, perhaps, but not completely fucked up, and certainly not mentally challenged. When he went to pay for his cage, he put the vole on the counter and it made a little 'thump'. I gently said "Uh … are you sure he's okay? He doesn't really look okay to me."

"Oh no, he's fine!" says the guy, "He just sleeps during the day."


He was back today. With his vole. I wasn't there, but apparently it doesn't smell anymore. It's just starting to … mummify? I wonder if he'll keep bringing it back when it's just bones? He bought some hamster tubes, so his pet can run through them and have fun. The girls gently asked AGAIN if his pet was feeling okay, and he said that it was.

I would almost think we're being Punk'd, but I seriously doubt any actor would agree to carry around a decaying rodent.
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
Crappy News:
I did not win the t-shirt design contest over at Supernatural. And I really wouldn't mind losing if the other entries were better than mine? But some of them weren't. Three of them were EXCEEDINGLY similar to each other. I don't get it. The first one was pretty good, the best of it's 'style' that I saw. The second one was fantastic. Something I wish I'd thought of (and had the chops to pull off). The third one was … not my thing. I was surprised it won, but hey, different strokes for different folks.

The fourth? Kinda like the first but not as good. And the fifth? Um … yeah. Kinda exactly the same too. If I'd known that all I had to do was plop a bunch of words on the shirts, then I wouldn't have worked so hard on … DESIGNING! I am disappoint.

winning shirt designs )
I'm not saying my design is fantastic or anything, but the others (excluding the tree one) were just … unoriginal? There were probably 50 more designs just like them.

In stupid customer news:
There was a dumbass in the store yesterday, and I was offering him help selecting a heater for his tank. He wasn't sure how many watts he needed for his size of tank, and I explained it to him, and showed him what we had. He wasn't happy with the pricing and wanted to know if he could buy two small heaters and use them instead of one bigger one. I told him he could, but it would probably cost him more in electricity in the long run, etc. Then I left him alone because he was incapable of listening to any advice I might have.

My husband was also at the store, and this guy latched onto him, asked him pretty much exactly the same questions, to which my husband answered with exactly the same answers as I had given. When he was leaving, the guy says to my husband (right in front of me) "Well, it was really nice finally talking to someone who knows what they're talking about."
My hubby (who is awesome) says: "Well, if you really want an expert, you should talk to my wife."

Ugh! What a dick! (they guy, not my hubby).

We also had a fellow in who was having a lot of trouble understanding the difference between a heater and a thermometer. "Uh … one thing is what gives off heat, and the other thing is what tells you the temperature."
"But why do I need both?"
"Because they do different things."
"Can't I just get the thermometer? ($30 cheaper than the heater)
"Well, your fish will be cold. You will know EXACTLY how cold they are, but it won't make them warm."
"I don't get it."
"Think of it this way. The heater is the time machine. The thermometer is the clock. The time machine DOES SOMETHING, the clock just tells you the time."

Under the heading of Sex talks with my kids:
My 11 yo was asking what FAP meant. I told him it meant to masturbate, and he got a hilarious look on his face. He knows what it means, but it is still a very foreign concept to him.
"But why would someone DO that?"
"Because it feels good."
"Isn't it gross?"
"Well, no, not when you do it in private. Nobody wants to see you touching yourself in a crowded room."
*laughs* "I'm never going to do it."
Me: *laughs* "Okay. sure."
"You don't believe me?"
"Hee! No I don't! Trust me, you will be your own best friend in a couple of years."
"No I won't!" *thinks* "Were YOU allowed to masturbate when you were a kid?"
"I don't know. I didn't exactly ask."
"Will *I* be allowed to do it?"
:D "Of course! Dude, it's free, it doesn't hurt anyone and it feels good."
"But it just seems so wrong, and sad!"
"Why do you think it's sad?"
"Because you're so lonely that you have to have sex with yourself."
"Honey, you don't have to be single and sad to do it. Think of it like this: You like ice cream, right? Is it sad, that if you're hungry, and you want ice cream, you stop at the store and buy some, and eat it alone? It doesn't mean that you never have desert with your partner, but sometimes you just want some ice cream."
"Do YOU do it?"
"Of course."
"Ahahaha! Dude, you ASKED!"

I wonder how long it will be before he breaks his 'promise'. Hee!
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
Found this on one of my customers this week. I told him it was there, but not before I took a picture of it. >D


Me: Uh, there's a note on your back.
Him: Oh, god. What does it say?
Me: It says you have a small penis.
Him: *groans*
Me: A friend of yours?
Him: No, someone I work with. *pull it off and crumples it up*
Me: *dies inside*

He bought something before he left, and I was DYING to ask him if it was true or not, but he was so embarrassed, he wouldn't even make eye contact with me, so I left it alone.
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
An officer from the Humane Society came to our store on Sunday. He said they had received a report on Friday that our rabbits had no food or water. They are compelled to check out each and every complaint, and once or twice per year they show up to check out a sick kitten or waterless bird, etc. I don't hold it against them, but I DO hold it against the dumbasses that complain. We have NEVER had a problem when the Humane society shows up. That 'sick' kitten was already under treatment by a veterinarian. That 'waterless' bird had a bottle, not a dish, etc.

Hilariously, we sold our last rabbit early on Thursday, so the person who complained … was perhaps looking at Chinchillas? We feed and water our animals twice per day. In the morning before we open and then again at night before we close. Why, if this person noticed the (imaginary) rabbits had no food, would they not mention it to a staff member? Obviously, they are either unstable, or just hate us? *sigh*

At least we have a very good record with the authorities, so it's not really a big deal. You could tell that the officer was embarrassed when he realized that we didn't even HAVE any of the animals on his report.

As for other stupid customers, we've had a spate of people calling and talking about 'terainiums'. :D Or even tetariums. These are not ESL people, these are born and bred Canadians. The word terrarium is not that exotic or difficult.

Other fan favourites are for the algae eating fish, typically called Pleco or plecostamus. Our customers call them Plinkos. Allergy eaters. Janitor fish. Shit eaters.

I've also had a LOT of people in the past year call us and ask us mind numbingly stupid questions, like: "How much are your cages?"
Uh … we have over 100 different cages in the store. Dog, hamster, rabbit, bird? Would you call a car dealership and ask "How much are your cars?" Or a toy store and ask "How much are your toys?"

And since we buy used pet supplies, I also get people asking: "How much would you pay me for my aquarium?" When I try to clarify and ask how big it is, they inevitably reply: "Oh, it's uh .. really big." *sigh* Going back to the dealership analogy;

"How much will you pay me for my car?"
"What kind of car is it?"
"Uh… red?"

And lastly, I think my very least favourite kind of customer is the one who comes in and asks "What is your cheapest pet?" Obviously someone who is really committed to taking proper care of an animal. ;) I usually show them our lovely collection of crickets. They are only 10 cents each!
tripperfunster: (fangirl)

This, along with "There's no price tag on this, does that mean it's free?" *stabs out eyes*

Our Sign

Mar. 25th, 2013 07:19 pm
tripperfunster: (fangirl)
Our pet store is right beside a pizza shop, and needless to say, people park in our very small 3 car lot to order their pizza. I ALMOST wouldn't mind, but you can't park in front of our store during rush hour, and the owner of the pizza place had the odacity to come to our place and complain that our customers were using HIS lot.

For realz, I bet we get 20 people a day using our lot for pizza. And sometimes they SIT THERE AND EAT IT in their cars, while paying customers of ours must park down the street. (or not stop at all at our place)

We put up this sign not long after moving in, and I bet we get 10 compliments per week about it. (I made it, and personally think it's ... a teeny bit funny... but seriously, people bust a gut over it all the time.) It even got stolen a couple of years ago, so we had it made again, and then affixed it with like ... 20 screws.


To add insult to injury, I think that font is Comic Sans! pfft!
tripperfunster: (Default)
I am in a part of the world where we have a 'time change' twice a year. We turn the clocks back one hour in the fall and ahead one hour in the spring. (Do they do this anywhere outside of North America?)

Anyhoo, five minutes before we are supposed to open our store, there is a banging on the front door. I check the time, and since it's only 5 min early, I decide to let the man in.

Man: Were you people even going to bother opening up today?

Me: Yes. We actually don't open until noon.

Man: I know, but it's already 1pm.

Me: Actually, last night was the time change and-

Man: (interrupting) I KNOW! AND NOW IT'S 1PM!

Me: *points at clock* It is almost noon.

Man: If that's going to be your attitude, then I"m going to take my business somewhere else.

Me and the other employees look at each other and start laughing.

Me: OKAY! :D

The customer then proceeded to stomp out. I can only imagine how stupid he felt when he realized he was wrong.

As a small business, I can't really afford to lose customers over stupid things like this, but ... aside from creating an alternate universe, I'm not sure how this conversation could have had a different ending.
tripperfunster: (Default)
Hubby went to Toronto for a couple of days, and took Harrison with him, so I brought Quincey to work with me tonight. On the ride there (about a half hour) he wanted to listen to his Mp3 player.

He is five. We listened to Highway to Hell, Yazz, MASTER AND SERVANT *snerk* and some freaky pimped out version of Cotton Eyed Joe. I drove while he chair-danced in his car seat. He is convinced that rock bands have VOLCANOS on stage. you know, to shoot out the fire works.

cut for stoopid customers and bitching )

BTW, despite my bitching, I'm actually in a pretty good mood!
tripperfunster: (Default)
What the FUCK is wrong with people now a days?

cut for teh crazy )

*sigh* That was fun. So, how was YOUR day? ;)


tripperfunster: (Default)

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