Stoopid customers and SB art
Sep. 19th, 2008 01:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tripperfunsterFirst up, STOOPID CUSTOMERS!
#1
Customer on phone: The fish I bought from you last week ate my other fish.
Me: Really? What kind of fish is it?
Her: A Pirahanna
Me:So... it ate your other pirahannas?
Her: No, it ate my tetras.
Me:oooooookay.That's pretty normal pirahanna behaviour.
Her: What do you mean? Nobody told me that pirahannas were aggressive.
Me: WTFBBQ? Do you own a television? Have you ever heard the term 'skeletonize'?
#2
Customer: I had to get rid of my two cats because they had ammonia in their urine.
Me: And what the fuck do you think YOU piss out? rainbows and unicorn tears? (okay, I didn't say that, I nodded and smiled and said something moronic like; Yeah....ammonia sure is a bitch, eh?)
#3
Customer on phone: We bought a strap-on for our dog last week, and it doesn't fit. Can we bring it back?
Me: (holding back tears of mirth) WHAT did you buy from us?
Them: a strap on. You know, to take him for a walk. (oh yeah, it's called a HARNESS)
There are more, but I need to go to bed, so they'll have to wait for another post.
Here's some Patrick art. Let me preface this with I totes stole the pose and musculature from some comic book thang I found online. I was too dumb to save who it was by, so I cannot credit properly. My bad. But it was some ebil comic book hero guy, not Patrick. Also, the colour showed up kind of wonky for some reason. He is pink and his shredded shorts are green.
I finished this at the Burger King playland today. I don't like McDonalds, but I REALLY don't like Burger King. (I refuse to eat anything other than fries at either), but the kids wanted to go to a different playland. Quincey took one bite of his burger and loudly announced that the food was much better at McDonalds. *snerk*
Also, I guess they had their 8-track player warmed up because I heard more John Denver, Neil Diamond and Nana Mouskori (sp?) than I had, since our cross country family car trip back in '77. I could almost smell the cigarette smoke and not new car smell of that borrowed station wagon that we drove. *shudder*
#1
Customer on phone: The fish I bought from you last week ate my other fish.
Me: Really? What kind of fish is it?
Her: A Pirahanna
Me:So... it ate your other pirahannas?
Her: No, it ate my tetras.
Me:oooooookay.That's pretty normal pirahanna behaviour.
Her: What do you mean? Nobody told me that pirahannas were aggressive.
Me: WTFBBQ? Do you own a television? Have you ever heard the term 'skeletonize'?
#2
Customer: I had to get rid of my two cats because they had ammonia in their urine.
Me: And what the fuck do you think YOU piss out? rainbows and unicorn tears? (okay, I didn't say that, I nodded and smiled and said something moronic like; Yeah....ammonia sure is a bitch, eh?)
#3
Customer on phone: We bought a strap-on for our dog last week, and it doesn't fit. Can we bring it back?
Me: (holding back tears of mirth) WHAT did you buy from us?
Them: a strap on. You know, to take him for a walk. (oh yeah, it's called a HARNESS)
There are more, but I need to go to bed, so they'll have to wait for another post.
Here's some Patrick art. Let me preface this with I totes stole the pose and musculature from some comic book thang I found online. I was too dumb to save who it was by, so I cannot credit properly. My bad. But it was some ebil comic book hero guy, not Patrick. Also, the colour showed up kind of wonky for some reason. He is pink and his shredded shorts are green.
I finished this at the Burger King playland today. I don't like McDonalds, but I REALLY don't like Burger King. (I refuse to eat anything other than fries at either), but the kids wanted to go to a different playland. Quincey took one bite of his burger and loudly announced that the food was much better at McDonalds. *snerk*
Also, I guess they had their 8-track player warmed up because I heard more John Denver, Neil Diamond and Nana Mouskori (sp?) than I had, since our cross country family car trip back in '77. I could almost smell the cigarette smoke and not new car smell of that borrowed station wagon that we drove. *shudder*
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no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 06:00 am (UTC)Also, hahahaha.
Also also: dog strap on. HOW. Did you not. Actually die of not laughing out loud?!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 07:14 am (UTC)Sigh about the urine and the ammonia... such ignorance is a crime, and of course it's the poor cats' fault, isn't it? Sure è_é
Poor you *pets*
So you have a pet shop? But it's a dream!!! For me at least, I so love animals that a pet shop is like a dream for me! *squeals* Awww!
About Patrick... OMG!!! Because of you, I can't watch Spongebob without thinking naughty/funny/slashy things...
It's so unfair LOL!
Please more more!!! *ç*
no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 07:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 10:05 am (UTC)Ever since the robbery at the hotel I work at, we lock the doors up at 11pm. Guests can still get in by swiping their room key in the card swiper right by the door, you know, right below the huge sign that says "THESE DOORS ARE LOCKED, USE YOUR ROOM KEY". Yeah, they NEVER see it.
People actually stand there trying to pry open the doors with their bare hands rather than read the sign. And it isn't just, say.... oh, 1 in 10 people. It's more like 8 out of 10 people that can't comprehend using a key to get in the locked door.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 10:10 am (UTC)Great Patrick! :D
no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 10:46 am (UTC)"Oh no! I put the zombies in the same room with my kindergarten students and when I checked on them, the zombies had eaten all the children's brains!"
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Date: 2008-09-20 02:07 pm (UTC)That Patrick rules all!
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Date: 2008-09-20 02:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 02:41 pm (UTC)But Patrick, oh my. Wow.
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Date: 2008-09-20 04:03 pm (UTC)Seriously, I used to be okay working with the public, but all those years spent eating bon bons and reading porn have made me tetchy. I could probably solve your stoopid customer problem in less than a week. 'Course, you'd be out of business, but I didn't promise a good solution.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 04:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 10:47 pm (UTC)Bwahahahahahaahahah!
You know there's a fic in there somewhere...
no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:25 am (UTC)The only problem is the PEOPLE! :D
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Date: 2008-09-21 04:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:31 am (UTC)We have people walk into our pet store (full of birds chirping away like crazy) and the ask: Do you cut keys here? Or SHARPEN SKATES?
Yes we do! And we're a full service restaurant and physiotherapy clinic too! NOT.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:35 am (UTC)People suck.
Some of us in a good way. ;)
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Date: 2008-09-21 04:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:41 am (UTC)Oh, that poor budgie! You'd better buy two that look exactly the same, and then hide one for when the first one dies.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:44 am (UTC)A little old lady was waiting in line, and when the guy left she said to me: "You told him!" :D
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Date: 2008-09-21 04:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:49 am (UTC)Crookshanks and Padfoot?
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Date: 2008-09-21 05:07 am (UTC)Burger King, oh YUCK. I'm not a fan of it or Mickey D's, but I HATE Burger King food, I won't even eat the fries.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-22 10:09 pm (UTC)Also, that pose ROCKS. It actually makes Patrick look super sexy, which is a part of my brain I really wish you hadn't opened... o.O
no subject
Date: 2008-09-24 09:01 am (UTC)And Patrick looks marvellous there! Spongbob must be so proud!