Stoopid Customers
Sep. 11th, 2006 03:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tripperfunsterHere's a few work related gems for you. A bit of back story, me and my husband own a pet store called Pet Traders, here in Bumfuck Manitoba. (my apologies to other Manitobans who might read this. And if you see yourself in this story, then GO SHOOT YOURSELF! You are too stoopid to live!
We get tons of calls from people who want to trade in their pets. Although we are called PET TRADERS, we don't trade animals, just supplies, ie, you can bring in a used aquarium or kennel, and we pay cash for them, clean them up and re-sell them. Needless to say, this concept is lost on many people. Here are just a few of the more memorable phone calls from the last couple of weeks.
1) Customer: Hi, I have a lovebird that I don't want anymore. Can I trade it in for a canary?
Me: No, I'm sorry, we just trade supplies here, not animals.
C:Yeah, I know. I want to trade in my lovebird.
Me: (louder and slower) No, we don't take animals here.
C:Yeah, I know that. This is a bird, not an animal.
Me: (dumbfounded) A bird IS an animal.
C:No it's not, it's a bird.
me: The last time I checked, birds were animals.
C: (getting pissed off) NO THEY AREN'T!
Me: Regardlessof how stupid you are we don't take animals OR birds. Sorry. (click)
Here's a few other ditties:
2)
Man looking at our kittens, "How big do these get?"
*snerk* Me: Oh, about as big as a CAT!
3)
Woman looking at a 'rescued' bird we have. His feet are deformed but he seems to get around quite well. "What's wrong with his hooves?"
Me: He was born that way. He's not in any pain, but it feet don't work well.
Her: Well why don't you just cut them off then?
me: (wonders why no one has removed her head, as it obviously doesn't work either)
Now, if you think I"M sarcastic, listen to my hubby on the phone.
Woman: I want to trade in my fish.
Hubby: Sorry, we don't trade pets here.
Woman: Then why are you called Pet Traders?
Hubby: uh...because Walmart was taken?
teehee
I should mention that many, many of our customers are not retarded/annoying/zombies. Only some of them. And I won't even begin to tell you about people who walk into our (very obvious) pet store, with the usual birds, fish, cages, kennels etc, and then ask:
"Do you cut keys here?"
"Do you sharpen skates here?"
"Do you sell touques?" (touques are like, a canadian winter hat) I ask, "A touque for your dog?" "No, for me." *eyeroll*
And the ever popular: "What's the cheapest pet that you sell?" I usually tell them that perhaps a pet rock would be more up their alley.
Okay, /rant ...for now.
We get tons of calls from people who want to trade in their pets. Although we are called PET TRADERS, we don't trade animals, just supplies, ie, you can bring in a used aquarium or kennel, and we pay cash for them, clean them up and re-sell them. Needless to say, this concept is lost on many people. Here are just a few of the more memorable phone calls from the last couple of weeks.
1) Customer: Hi, I have a lovebird that I don't want anymore. Can I trade it in for a canary?
Me: No, I'm sorry, we just trade supplies here, not animals.
C:Yeah, I know. I want to trade in my lovebird.
Me: (louder and slower) No, we don't take animals here.
C:Yeah, I know that. This is a bird, not an animal.
Me: (dumbfounded) A bird IS an animal.
C:No it's not, it's a bird.
me: The last time I checked, birds were animals.
C: (getting pissed off) NO THEY AREN'T!
Me: Regardless
Here's a few other ditties:
2)
Man looking at our kittens, "How big do these get?"
*snerk* Me: Oh, about as big as a CAT!
3)
Woman looking at a 'rescued' bird we have. His feet are deformed but he seems to get around quite well. "What's wrong with his hooves?"
Me: He was born that way. He's not in any pain, but it feet don't work well.
Her: Well why don't you just cut them off then?
me: (wonders why no one has removed her head, as it obviously doesn't work either)
Now, if you think I"M sarcastic, listen to my hubby on the phone.
Woman: I want to trade in my fish.
Hubby: Sorry, we don't trade pets here.
Woman: Then why are you called Pet Traders?
Hubby: uh...because Walmart was taken?
teehee
I should mention that many, many of our customers are not retarded/annoying/zombies. Only some of them. And I won't even begin to tell you about people who walk into our (very obvious) pet store, with the usual birds, fish, cages, kennels etc, and then ask:
"Do you cut keys here?"
"Do you sharpen skates here?"
"Do you sell touques?" (touques are like, a canadian winter hat) I ask, "A touque for your dog?" "No, for me." *eyeroll*
And the ever popular: "What's the cheapest pet that you sell?" I usually tell them that perhaps a pet rock would be more up their alley.
Okay, /rant ...for now.
