Stoopid customers and SB art

First up, STOOPID CUSTOMERS!

#1
Customer on phone: The fish I bought from you last week ate my other fish.

Me: Really? What kind of fish is it?

Her: A Pirahanna

Me:So... it ate your other pirahannas?

Her: No, it ate my tetras.

Me:oooooookay.That's pretty normal pirahanna behaviour.

Her: What do you mean? Nobody told me that pirahannas were aggressive.

Me: WTFBBQ? Do you own a television? Have you ever heard the term 'skeletonize'?



#2

Customer: I had to get rid of my two cats because they had ammonia in their urine.

Me: And what the fuck do you think YOU piss out? rainbows and unicorn tears? (okay, I didn't say that, I nodded and smiled and said something moronic like; Yeah....ammonia sure is a bitch, eh?)


#3

Customer on phone: We bought a strap-on for our dog last week, and it doesn't fit. Can we bring it back?
Me: (holding back tears of mirth) WHAT did you buy from us?
Them: a strap on. You know, to take him for a walk. (oh yeah, it's called a HARNESS)

There are more, but I need to go to bed, so they'll have to wait for another post.

Here's some Patrick art. Let me preface this with I totes stole the pose and musculature from some comic book thang I found online. I was too dumb to save who it was by, so I cannot credit properly. My bad. But it was some ebil comic book hero guy, not Patrick. Also, the colour showed up kind of wonky for some reason. He is pink and his shredded shorts are green.

( Patrick angst )