So, the trip to Toronto to see the folks actually went pretty well. (as compared to other years.) My kids are almost self-sustaining at 9 and 10 years old, so my mother was actually willing to let them stay with her while hubby and I went to the trade show. She actually 'babysat' them more that week that she has cumulatively their entire lives. No lie.
Anyhoo, the oddness. (My folks are divorced, so these stories do not happen with them together.)
My mom is ... odd about throwing food out. She is VERY anal retentive when it comes to cleanliness, but things like expiry dates seem to elude her. I was looking for something in her cupboard and I saw those ... candied cherry things? Like, the kind that people put on christmas cookies when they're baking. I asked her: "Wow, must really like those things, if you keep them all year round!" She said;"No, those are from last Christmas. I'll use them again for baking this year." 0_o My mother is far from poor, she could afford to buy a new $2.99 tub of cherries. THANK GOD I NEVER EAT THOSE COOKIES ANYWAY! So, anyway, she was complaining that she had bought too much milk, because her and her husband don't really drink it, and when we were gone, it would just go bad. I noticed a bottle of Nestlie Quick (chocolate sauce) in her fridge and I told her that the kids like chocolate milk, and maybe offer them some.
So she does, and Harry says, yeah, he'd love a glass, and then I think HMMMMMMM. "Mom, did Lance buy that chocolate sauce when he got here?" Mom: "No, we've had it for a while." Me: "Define 'a while.'" Mom: "Oh, I don't know! *angry*" So I look at the expiry date on the bottle and it EXPIRED IN 2009. Not MADE in 2009 but EXPIRED. WTF?
Looking back at my childhood, I barfed A LOT. I assumed that I just got the stomach flu a lot. Now that I am older and wiser, I'm pretty sure I just had FOOD POISONING. For realz. Alcohol induced barfing aside, I think I've had the stomach flu TWICE in the past 25 years. My children have only had it maybe three times in their lives.
And now for my dad:
My dad is a lot of fun, a little bit silly and a rebel. He is also a mean, fucking asshole when he wants to be. Lucky for us, he was fun and silly this visit. We went over to his place for dinner one night, which went well, and then we discussed seeing him again for coffee or something. He offered to drive us to the airport for our trip home, and I said, hey, maybe we could all go out for lunch first, and go the the airport after. Okay!
The day we were leaving (only three days after the dinner we had with him) he calls to find out our flight time, and offers to pick us up a half hour before the flight. I said, "Oh, I thought we were going to have lunch together!" He says, "Okay, why don't I pick you up TWO hours earlier and we'll do that, then go to the airport.
So he picks us up and takes us to a 'really neat' place near his house. This really neat place is a burger joint. Like, go up to the counter, get your food, sit down and eat it. I wasn't expecting a fancy place, and I wasn't expecting him to pay or anything, but ...I WAS expecting a place where maybe THEY COME TO THE TABLE TO TAKE YOUR ORDER? Like, a Montannas or Applebys or something? This place was one step above Wendy's. We were done eating in like ... 25 mins? So ... he took us to the airport and we were TWO HOURS EARLY FOR OUR FLIGHT. *sigh* Fast food, really? Is is just me, or was this strange? Even my kids were a bit WTF about the whole thing.
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