The Day I Circumcised A Duck

Yes. Yes I did.

A couple of days ago, hubby brought in a duck who had a big clump of poop stuck(frozen) to his butt. So we set him up in a cage, with a big dish of water to swim in and waited for it to melt off. Which it did. Except there was still a little somethin' somethin' hanging down. I gave it another day or two, but nope, not poop. I took a closer look, and yeah ... it was his little wang.

Most birds don't have a dick, they just rub their cloaca against the one of the female sex and through MAGIC, babies happen. But I guess that waterfowl have more challenges what with BEING IN THE WATER, so god gave them willies. <--- pure science!!!

Anyhoo, I googled PROLAPSED DUCK WANG, and lo and behold, there were tons of articles about it. It would seem to be a somewhat common problem, and the instructions were to CUT OFF THE DRIED END OF THE DUCK-DICK, then slather it with polysporin, then SHOVE IT BACK IN THE HOLE.

This is my life.

Hubby was kind enough to hold the duck while I performed the ... surgery, but he refused to look. :D

I used nail clippers for the Bris (nice sharp ones) and it came off just fine. No blood. (as the internet promised.) Shoving his wang back in his cloaca was ... disturbing, although the duck didn't seem to mind at all. He actually slipped me a piece of paper with his number on it!

There could be heard, at some point, someone screaming :"OMG I'M FINGERING A DUCK!!"

Duck seems to be just fine now.
I cannot wash my hands enough.