The State of Me and Some Ex-Files

[tripperfunster]

I've meant to post a hundred times, and I'm just so busy and overwhelmed that I haven't done it yet. (until now, of course!)

I leave for Toronto Comic Con Thursday morning and I've been cutting my little fingers to the bone (occasionally literally) to have enough pieces to sell. Nothing will suck the joy out of a hobby faster than mass production for cash! :D I'm pretty nervous and a bit excited about it. It will also just be very long and exhausting, regardless of how it all turns out.

I will get to meet my new 'sister' for the first time though, as she's agreed to come out and help me at the booth, so that will be nice.


Big news: WE SOLD OUR HOUSE! Oh man, I won't even get into the boring, bullshit details about the asshole-jerkface who bought it, but it eventually all settled and it sold. Possession date is June 30 (which we fought mightily for, so the kids could finish school here) and now I need to somehow buy a house on the other side of the country, despite knowing very little about the province, the neighbourhoods, the jobs available and the state of the schools there. *WIBBLE* All I know is that it is beautiful, and not nearly as cold as this winter hell hole I live in now. Hubby and I head out to BC at the beginning of April for a whirlwind two day house hunt.

My ex! He messaged me last week with an offer to have lunch. He's messaged me a couple of times before, and I wasn't really sure how I felt about seeing him, so I just ignored him. (so mature!) Anyhoo, we had just sold our house and won't be here forever, so I thought, why not?

Turns out, it was really great to see him again. Not in a get-back-together way, just in a catch-up-with-an-old-friend way. The worst part of divorce is that you also lose your in-laws, and I really, really liked his big family. It was nice to hear what they're all up to now. Another thing that was really nice and very unexpected was a very heart-felt apology from him. For all of the ways he played into the end of our marriage. Now, don't get me wrong, it was very much a two way street, but I was willing to work on things and make it work, where he seemed to be either unwilling or unable (or both.)

Anyway, it really took me by surprise, and it was incredibly gratifying to hear! Especially from him, as neither of us were particularly adept at 'owning' our faults or responsibilities for our failings. It's been almost 25 years since we split up, but I left our lunch date feeling really good. We both found spouses better suited to ourselves, we both had kids and we both seem happy with our lot in life. And that's really good. He's not a bad person (just a bad husband for me) and clearly, he's grown up a lot. And so have I, of course.

I had always kind of thought that I wanted him to be happy, just not as happy as ME. ;) And now I realize how immature that is. It's not like there is a limited amount of love and joy in the world. I wish him all the love he can get. Wow. That's kind of freeing! Now if I can only work those feelings for my father! :D

Anyhoo, what are you guys up to? I have lots of new paper cuts that I've photographed, but I haven't had time to edit and post them. I am really looking forward to having this comic con be over, so I can concentrate on other things.

Comments

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

It's lovely that you've reconnected with your ex and that you've both grown past your previous differences - something similar happened with me and my ex fiance, and it was surprisingly nice to meet him again and find that we could be friends. I think our time apart was a similar length to yours - at least 20 years anyhow. That distance really helps put things in perspective, doesn't it!

Good luck at Toronto! Hope you sell loads and come back with a ton of commissions too.

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

It makes me really happy to hear about you and your ex.

[charisstoma.livejournal.com]

Hope the Con goes well and it's fun for you.
Am glad that you and your ex have moved on into happier lives and are able to be friends again.
Good luck finding another house to make a home in.

[evilmissbecky.livejournal.com]

Congrats on selling the house! That's got to be a huge relief, and one less thing to have to worry about.

Have fun at the con!

I'm very glad you had a mostly happy ending with your ex. Gives me hope that maybe someday I can do that, too. *hugs*

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

it sounds like you've really worked things out well with your ex. :)

[alisanne.livejournal.com]

Good luck at the con!

That's awesome that you can be friends with your ex. So mature of you! :)

[bugeyedmonster.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear that the meeting with the ex went good. That's great that you've both done well since.

Moving... ha! Don't envy you that experience. Good luck.

And good luck with the show and sales. Let us know how it went.

[magically25.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad that things sound like they are going really well on multiple fronts. It's lovely to hear you so happy :-)

[myriadprobold.livejournal.com]

This is such a nice story to start my morning off!

Good luck at comic con!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Yeah, the ex thing was a pleasant surprise. We didn't end on HORRIBLE terms, but it was enough to not be married any more, so … yeah.

I'm very excited for the Comic Con. *fingers crossed!*

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I really didn't think I was harbouring many bad feelings about him, but was surprised at how might lighter I felt after that conversation.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

THank you! The house hunt is terrifying and exciting. (and fun!)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I had seen my ex a few times over the years, and we were always nice to each other, but this was a much more genuine and honest conversation. Maybe you just need more time? Or not. Some people will always be dicks. ;)

Yes, the house sale was a big relief, except for all of the new challenges and stressors it will bring!!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure we really 'worked' anything out, but just grew up enough to lay it to rest. :D

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! There's something I don't hear very often! ;p

And thanks, I'll post about the con, I'm sure!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I am actually really excited to move. Not excited to pack up all our shit and drive across the country, but starting fresh is always fun. Not that we're in the witness relocation program or anything! But I hope it will be good for us as a family.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I am generally a pretty happy person. I guess I come here to rant about stuff that drives me crazy, so that might not come across, but even during shitty times, I tend to focus on the good stuff.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much!

[magically25.livejournal.com]

Lol sorry I didn't mean it to come across that you don't usually sound happy, it's just that this post sounds even more effovesent than usual. It really made me smile :-D

[synn.livejournal.com]

I love this post :D It sounds like lots of exciting and positive (if nerve-wracking) things are going on.
Congrats on the house. I can't wait to hear about comicon. And, of course, congrats on making peace with your ex (I get that you guys weren't fighting, but I mean all those feelings that lifted/cleared out when you saw him). It's amazing how things were aren't even aware of can sometimes weigh us down.

[tinkcph.livejournal.com]

How gratifying to get an apology from an ex! Good for you! And good for him, for growing up and accepting responsibility. I'm glad you were given the opportunity to put that suitcase down. And I'm so glad that you've found a love that's better for you. :)

Best of luck with the Con and with the house hunting! How exciting!

I'm getting a new kitchen! We're tearing the old down come Easter. That's the level of excitement in my life. :)

[nic]

This is such a positive post, and I admire you for how you can be so awesome in dealing with your ex!