And while I'm spamming you ...

[tripperfunster]

*sigh*

I have a very depressing assignment ...

A woman I know had her 7 year old son pass away just before christmas. I wouldn't call her a good friend, but she is someone that I see every two weeks or so, and we get on quite well, and I've always really liked her.

Hearing the terrible news was quite devastating to me. (not nearly as much as it was to her, obviously.) I have a son practically the same age, and one a year younger, and man, talk about EMPATHY. The thought of having to get up everyday and continue my life without one of my boys is heartwrenching.

I did the usual, sent her a card, gave her lots of hugs, and we cried on each other's shoulders a few times. Her pain was so great, I really wished I could do something to help her, but short of bringing her son back, there really wasn't much to be done.

Last week she asked me if I knew anyone who would do a portrait of her child. She knows I'm an 'artist' (although not the full extent, wink wink), so she thought that I might know someone who would do a portrait. (I'm sure she was really asking me to do it, but didn't want to impose.)

Of course, I offered. I was thrilled to have the oppourtunity to do something that might ease her pain even just a little, but it's going to be very hard. She gave me a photo of him today (and is going to get me another one next week) and man, I can't even look at the little guy without tearing up. How the hell am I going to stare at his picture for HOURS while I draw it? And what if I can't do a good enough job? *flails*

I'm not posting this so you can all tell me I'll do fine, I'm good enough, bla bla bla. I guess I'm just venting. I'm normally a very happy, easy going person, but this (the death, not the picture) has really affected me more than I would have thought it could.

Anyway, all of you with kids (big or little) out there, give them big hugs today.

And here's a couple of pics of MY kids. Poor Harry, he really hates to get his picture taken, and it shows.



And Quincey is doing his best Farrah Faucett (and rockin' it, I might add)



Oh, and just so you don't think I"m a total sap, I TOTES believe in child abuse. Here's my photographic evidence. (Harry, aged two. And no, it's not permanent marker.) He was pretty happy until I showed him what he looked like in the mirror. *evil laugh*

Comments

[juniperus.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

I grok. That poor woman... I can't even imagine...

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

No, me either. Except now, I can't STOP imagining. Especially the first couple of weeks. Every time I put my kids to bed I would cry, thinking that she was doing the same thing, except her son's bed was empty. (she has three girls too.)

*hugs you back* Thanks.

[euclase.livejournal.com]

OMG. When I was in high school, my best friend's mom asked me to draw a portrait of his dad, who'd passed away. I accepted, and then couldn't actually face my friend for the time it took to draw the thing. It was as if I was embalming his dad all over again or something. That drawing remains by far the single hardest thing I've ever drawn. His mom and I were both crying when I gave it to her--she because of the subject, me because I was scared shitless, lol.

So yeah. I can very much relate to this.

(But she loved it, of course, and for a few years there invited me to dinner practically every weekend)

Also. Hahahaha. You are evil with the markers.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thank you. That reply means a lot to me. I'm sure she will love it, and if nothing else, love the effort I put into it.

I'm thinking of making him an angel in the pic, but I'm not sure ... She is a very strong Catholic (except in a ... hispanic way ..?) I"m not sure if I can explain without putting my foot in my mouth. A lot of (non white) people that I know are very devout christians, except not in the annoying-I-have-to-convert-you-and-constantly-judge-you way that North American Christains can be. (not that they all are, but TOO MANY of them are.) Does that make any sense?
Anyhoo, I *think* she would like him as an angel, but I don't know if that would be tacky, or over stepping my bounds.

Whadda you think?

[euclase.livejournal.com]

My gut reaction is no, lol. But... the more I think about it, the more I think it could be REALLY pretty to go in that direction. So maybe you could compromise? A little bit of a glow, a little bit of spirituality. I'm not sure if putting cherub wings on the kid wouldn't make you cringe six months down the road. Think of your own kids, I guess. What would you want? I'd trust that instinct more than anything, and if you draw from the heart, your heart will show in the drawing.

I know this will be totally beautiful no matter what you do, but yeah. :)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your imput! i like the 'mild glow' thing. I'll probably do a couple of different things, and decide which one is best. I'm thinking chalk pastels, for a really soft effect. Kids are DAMN HARD TO DRAW and not make them look hard/older.

Wish me luck!

[joanwilder.livejournal.com]

Losing a child is unnatural; I can't even comprehend what it'd be like.

Haaaa, I love that last picture; you might want to hide it fairly soon; kids hit an age where they destroy this sort of evidence.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

It's digital baby! And now it's on the interwebz!

And yes, about my friend, it's absolutely horrible. I'm seeing it first hand and I still can't fathom it. She is a lovely woman, and it's hard to see her in so much pain. Would you believe ... her ex husband has already contacted her about paying less child support? I swear, if I had a machette, he would have no balls right now.

[gestaltrose.livejournal.com]

Damn... just. . .Damn. I wouldn't even know where to start. I too have little ones (and yeah I threw in an extra hug)

Just. . .Fuck.

I love you pictures of your babies... they are so beautiful and yeah you are evil... you're a mom it's part of the job description I swear.

*loves you*

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thank hon!

She's such a sweet person too! Why doesn't this shit happen to evil people? Life is sooo unfair.

I give my kids extra hugs between the beatings. ;)

*loves you back*

[dementordelta.livejournal.com]

Good advice at any time! Of course I'm seeing Dan in Equus on Wednesday, perhaps I'll put it into practice then....

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I said HUG your kids, not grope them! ;) Have fun in NY!

Hey, I've just put in for a Colour You Own Snape workshop at Azkatraz. You'll have to sign up!

[dementordelta.livejournal.com]

Heeee! As long as no actual drawing is involved, count me in!

[1scout.livejournal.com]

Thank God I have my little boy, and that he's healthy. I gripe about the huge volume of noise he's constantly making, but I wouldn't survive without hearing it every day.

I have to say, your babies are beauties, just like mine is. ^-^

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks!

Mine are both at such an ANNOYING age right now, that I would often gladly kill them both myself, but then something like this happens, and whateverthehell you were made at them for earlier seems pretty stupid.

[djin7.livejournal.com]

gah.

I would say that try to do the picture imagining you are giving her a gift, bringing him back to life a little - a portrait that will suspend him in time for her. But those are only words, unfortunately. I'm sure you will do a fantastic job for her.

*squishes you*

Your little guys are adorable, and I love that you keep their hair long. LOVE.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks! I'm really quite happy to be able to do SOMETHING for her. I'm just stressing on how it will turn out. (of course!)

As for the hair, HELL YEAH! Life would be much easier if it were short (no tangles) but I love it long too. It's totally up to them, of course. I try to let them make lots of 'small' decisions about their lives, and live by the consequences. They get called girls all the time (and hate it) but still want to keep their hair long.

Of course, it's just an added bonus that my parents HATE the long hair! *laughs uproarously*

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I can't even imagine how painful that is for her. My thoughts are with her.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thank you. She is such a lovely woman, and it's hard to see her in pain. Thanks for your kind words.

[tessisamess.livejournal.com]

Oh, God... Harry looks like a BADASS with that grown up 'stache. XD A very upset badass.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

A bad ass future circus ring master! :D

[tessisamess.livejournal.com]

XD I showed my husband this picture just now and it was just a million times funnier than the first time. And then I swore to do things of the same nature to Audrie when she's a little older and can.. appreciate it.. that's the word. *snort*