Ungrateful/clueless recipient?

[tripperfunster]

So ... I drew something for an exchange last month, and the person that I drew it for has not commented. At. All.

Now, i know that RL gets in the way, but they've done some random postings in their eljay, none of which mention plague or famine, so I assume nothing horrific has gone wrong for them.

Should I poke them? I'm not sure how to do it without sounding snotty. HEY DUMBASS! THIS TOOK 10 HOURS TO DRAW. YOU COULD AT LEAST TAKE TWO MINUTES TO COMMENT!!eleventy11

Or should I just ... let it go?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not losing sleep over it or anything, but I've waited a MONTH, and nothing .... ... .. ...

not to mention that I never recieved MY gift, but that's a whole nuther story

Comments

[leela-cat.livejournal.com]

When that happened to someone else, she poked the mods and asked them to contact the recipient. Which the mods did and the recipient finally commented.

But not getting your gift? That's bad, too.

Hmmm... not a fest I'd want to play in.

[bluestocking79.livejournal.com]

I would mention it to the mods, as Leela said. Most fest mods I know would happily do some poking for an ungrateful recipient. I mean, saying thank you for your gift is basic fandom etiquette.

Then again, if they also didn't make sure that you got your gift (yikes!), then maybe they're not too concerned with enforcing that etiquette. Hm. That is really a sucky situation, and I'm sorry you're in it.

(And who wouldn't be excited to get art from you?!?)

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

I agree that this sounds very off.

[eeyore9990.livejournal.com]

Dude, does that mean it's available for regifting? I'll take it. I have no idea what it is, but I'd be the squeeingest fangirl in the history of squeeeeing fangirls to receive Tripper-art.

[stupid-drawings.livejournal.com]

It's not me, is it? I totally forget that exchanges mean there's something for me there, too. D'oh!
Poke her!

[joanwilder.livejournal.com]

This happened to me last year. And it turned out the girl was out of the country on study abroad and didn't have internet access. It was one of those fests where you have to list someone to contact in case the gifter has questions about what the person would like. So, I emailed that contact, and she's the one who told me. Eventually, my recipient did comment and was very apologetic. If there's no alternate contact in the sign-up, then I'd contact the mods. AND, I'd ask about my lack of a gift in return too.

[arcanetrivia]

Gently poke them, if you haven't. Sometimes people genuinely miss things (that happened to me once in an exchange).

[redheadsarehot.livejournal.com]

No thanks for the gift and no gift in return. FEST FAIL. That really sucks, I'm sorry. I'd contact the mods about both situations.

[gmonkey42.livejournal.com]

That sucks. Is it possible they didn't receive it? If you didn't receive yours, maybe something went wrong?

Or they're just dicks, that is also possible :(

[midnitemaraud-r.livejournal.com]

I hate when that happens. When I'm modding and it happens, I email, PM and leave comments for the fail!recipient. But, you know, after that... *shrug* Then I apologize to the person who wrote/drew, make sure I tell them what I liked/loved about their fic/art, and consider whether I'll let the fail!recipient play the following year or not. :-P

But this happened to me last year. I did a pinch hit, and the recip never commented. Her LJ was flocked, but I could still see that she updated c/o her profile several times in the month after it was posted. And the mods emailed and PMed her. And then she signed up this year, and commented that it was her favorite fest ever. Nice, huh? I'm still tempted to leave her a comment about it. I didn't last year - I don't know why. I mean, it's not like I'm shy, and I'm used to chasing people down for fest-related stuff. I just didn't bother. I gave her exactly what she asked for, so I don't think she hated it or anything like that. I don't think she ever saw it. But if held grudges and had a personal fandom blacklist, she'd be on it, because, yanno, it's just so not on. :-P

ETA: You never got your gift either? Was this that triangle fest? Because they had lots of problems (like, oh, the mod disappearing before posting started, and the co-mod not having a clue, apparently). Still, you should totally email the mod about that. That's REALLY not on!

[glockgal.livejournal.com]

Yup, I thoroughly approve of going through the mods and getting them to do the poking, so it doesn't put you in an awkward situation.

However, not getting a gift yourself? WTF, dude. WTF. Bad fest?

[heeroluva.livejournal.com]

I say either say something to him/her or ask whoever mod'ed the exchange to do so for you if you're uncomfortable. Though sometimes people do forget.

I actually participated in an exchange before where I finished my piece way ahead of time (by a period of months) and completely forgot about it and the exchange until months after it finished. When I asked the mod why she never contacted me, she told me that she didn't send reminders and that the original e-mail should have been sufficient and that if she had to worry about person reminders she'd never run an exchange.

Sorry enough about me. What was your gift supposed to be? I might be able to get come up with something for you, if you'd be interested?

[the-reda.livejournal.com]

/I'll take it./

Fight ya for it :P

[the-reda.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

It sucks when that happens. need an alibi or help hiding the body?

[archea2.livejournal.com]

It happened to me both ways - I missed a gift and I once wrote somebody a drabble which they did not comment for quite some time. In both case I knew the person so we kind of poked each other personally. If you don't, poking the mods instead is a good idea. Hope it'll turn out for the best!

[schemingreader.livejournal.com]

I agree with all previous advice. Poke the mods.

Also, please link to art so the rest of us may squee, kthxby.

[synn.livejournal.com]

Ditto to what everyone else has said, poking the mods sounds like a good idea : )
I had the same thing happen once, though i never did anything about it, I probably should have...that was when I was new to not lurking in fandom.

[huntress1013.livejournal.com]

Never participated in a fest (no time really) but I would really poke. It is NOT okay that you have never receibved a comment nor your own gift.

[xenafox.livejournal.com]

Like the person above me, I have never been in a fest. I would poke the person at fault not the mods, but that's just me and that could be wrong xD I don't know the etiquette.

I DON'T think it would be too much though just to send the person a note saying "Hey, I did your picture a month ago, I haven't heard anything back so I wanted to make sure; did you see it?" It can easily be done without coming off as a snobbish asshat :)

[venturous1.livejournal.com]

oh-oh **feels automatically guilty**

what a jerk! who would love your art! I wanna see it, love it, have it's babies!

been there, and it's really sucky. I assume the worst.

[drusillas-rain.livejournal.com]

That sucks :(

My vote is to contact the mod (especially since you didn't receive anything)

[xterm.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling!! No advise, just a HUG!!

[delorispea.livejournal.com]

I always read stuff like this and the general thing is to say to them hey, did you see what i did? in case they missed it.

[juniperus.livejournal.com]

That happened to me with fic - never, ever, got a comment from the recipient.

[theficklepickle.livejournal.com]

Happened to me once; for a whole month I poured heart and soul into writing a story for an exchange, consulted the recipient along the way about her requirements, wrote something that is still garnering positive comments nearly five years later and the ungrateful beeyotch never even acknowledged receipt. On the positive side, though, the person who wrote something for me in the same exchange turned out to be a positive delight. You just have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a handsome prince, I'm afraid ...