Ungrateful/clueless recipient?

[tripperfunster]

So ... I drew something for an exchange last month, and the person that I drew it for has not commented. At. All.

Now, i know that RL gets in the way, but they've done some random postings in their eljay, none of which mention plague or famine, so I assume nothing horrific has gone wrong for them.

Should I poke them? I'm not sure how to do it without sounding snotty. HEY DUMBASS! THIS TOOK 10 HOURS TO DRAW. YOU COULD AT LEAST TAKE TWO MINUTES TO COMMENT!!eleventy11

Or should I just ... let it go?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not losing sleep over it or anything, but I've waited a MONTH, and nothing .... ... .. ...

not to mention that I never recieved MY gift, but that's a whole nuther story

Comments

[leela-cat.livejournal.com]

When that happened to someone else, she poked the mods and asked them to contact the recipient. Which the mods did and the recipient finally commented.

But not getting your gift? That's bad, too.

Hmmm... not a fest I'd want to play in.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

It's a pretty casual fest. You get your prompt, and then you post yourself, whenever you're ready. (but before the deadline.)

I'm not mad at the mods, as they've put out requests for pinch hitters.

I ended up just leaving a quick comment to my recipient, just saying, Hey, did you see this?

Nothing yet ...

[bluestocking79.livejournal.com]

I would mention it to the mods, as Leela said. Most fest mods I know would happily do some poking for an ungrateful recipient. I mean, saying thank you for your gift is basic fandom etiquette.

Then again, if they also didn't make sure that you got your gift (yikes!), then maybe they're not too concerned with enforcing that etiquette. Hm. That is really a sucky situation, and I'm sorry you're in it.

(And who wouldn't be excited to get art from you?!?)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I ended up leaving a "hey, did you see this?" note to the recipient. We'll see if that makes a difference or not.

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

I agree that this sounds very off.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I poked him/her, so let's see if it was just an oversight. :D

[eeyore9990.livejournal.com]

Dude, does that mean it's available for regifting? I'll take it. I have no idea what it is, but I'd be the squeeingest fangirl in the history of squeeeeing fangirls to receive Tripper-art.

[the-reda.livejournal.com]

/I'll take it./

Fight ya for it :P

[stupid-drawings.livejournal.com]

It's not me, is it? I totally forget that exchanges mean there's something for me there, too. D'oh!
Poke her!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Nope, it's not you. YOU, I would just give you a big 'ol poke. :D

I did leave a comment in the vein of "hey, did ja see this?"

That was this morning, and nothing yet ...

[joanwilder.livejournal.com]

This happened to me last year. And it turned out the girl was out of the country on study abroad and didn't have internet access. It was one of those fests where you have to list someone to contact in case the gifter has questions about what the person would like. So, I emailed that contact, and she's the one who told me. Eventually, my recipient did comment and was very apologetic. If there's no alternate contact in the sign-up, then I'd contact the mods. AND, I'd ask about my lack of a gift in return too.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Well, she's posted at least twice since I put the art up (once with details about what she'd like to get from her Yultide gifter ....) plus she did comment to the fest mods about being late with her submission, but she was still working on it ....

Whatev.

I poked her, let's see what happens.

[arcanetrivia]

Gently poke them, if you haven't. Sometimes people genuinely miss things (that happened to me once in an exchange).

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

They have been poked! :D

*sits back and waits*

[redheadsarehot.livejournal.com]

No thanks for the gift and no gift in return. FEST FAIL. That really sucks, I'm sorry. I'd contact the mods about both situations.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

yeah. I think this fest made the mistake of being too casual and IN THE MONTH OF NANO.

I poked my recipient. Let's see if that helps.

[gmonkey42.livejournal.com]

That sucks. Is it possible they didn't receive it? If you didn't receive yours, maybe something went wrong?

Or they're just dicks, that is also possible :(

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

YES! DICKS!

In this fest Trek_exchange, the posting is done by the participants, so I KNOW it got posted. She may have just missed it, so I poked her. Let's see what happens!!

[midnitemaraud-r.livejournal.com]

I hate when that happens. When I'm modding and it happens, I email, PM and leave comments for the fail!recipient. But, you know, after that... *shrug* Then I apologize to the person who wrote/drew, make sure I tell them what I liked/loved about their fic/art, and consider whether I'll let the fail!recipient play the following year or not. :-P

But this happened to me last year. I did a pinch hit, and the recip never commented. Her LJ was flocked, but I could still see that she updated c/o her profile several times in the month after it was posted. And the mods emailed and PMed her. And then she signed up this year, and commented that it was her favorite fest ever. Nice, huh? I'm still tempted to leave her a comment about it. I didn't last year - I don't know why. I mean, it's not like I'm shy, and I'm used to chasing people down for fest-related stuff. I just didn't bother. I gave her exactly what she asked for, so I don't think she hated it or anything like that. I don't think she ever saw it. But if held grudges and had a personal fandom blacklist, she'd be on it, because, yanno, it's just so not on. :-P

ETA: You never got your gift either? Was this that triangle fest? Because they had lots of problems (like, oh, the mod disappearing before posting started, and the co-mod not having a clue, apparently). Still, you should totally email the mod about that. That's REALLY not on!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

No, this was for Trek_exchange. it's pretty casual, so I don't really blame the mods.

I gave my recipient a poke today, with a link to the art. I guess I'll find out soon if she just missed it, or is an asshat.

That is really too bad about what happened to you.

WHY DID THE MODS LET HER JOIN UP AGAIN THIS YEAR? that is a major fail!!

[glockgal.livejournal.com]

Yup, I thoroughly approve of going through the mods and getting them to do the poking, so it doesn't put you in an awkward situation.

However, not getting a gift yourself? WTF, dude. WTF. Bad fest?

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Nah, just a casual fest.

I poked he today, let's see what happens. Going to the mods seems too much like going to mom. ;D


OMG WHEN DOES YULTART BEGIN! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU EBIL, EBIL PEEPS PUSHED IT BACK THREE DAYS! *tears out hair*

[heeroluva.livejournal.com]

I say either say something to him/her or ask whoever mod'ed the exchange to do so for you if you're uncomfortable. Though sometimes people do forget.

I actually participated in an exchange before where I finished my piece way ahead of time (by a period of months) and completely forgot about it and the exchange until months after it finished. When I asked the mod why she never contacted me, she told me that she didn't send reminders and that the original e-mail should have been sufficient and that if she had to worry about person reminders she'd never run an exchange.

Sorry enough about me. What was your gift supposed to be? I might be able to get come up with something for you, if you'd be interested?

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Aw, that's so sweet of you to offer!

This was a Star Trek exchange. I honestly don't even remember what i asked for. Knowing my preferences, it was some sort of first time smut. :D

I don't really mind not getting my 'gift', I'm more upset that my recipient didn't care enough to comment. I'm ASSUMING he/she just missed it, so I poked her today. Let's see what happens now!

[the-reda.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

It sucks when that happens. need an alibi or help hiding the body?

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

No! :D But I might get you to smack a bitch! :D

[archea2.livejournal.com]

It happened to me both ways - I missed a gift and I once wrote somebody a drabble which they did not comment for quite some time. In both case I knew the person so we kind of poked each other personally. If you don't, poking the mods instead is a good idea. Hope it'll turn out for the best!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I ended up giving him/her a poke today, so I'll wait a few more days to see what happens.

[schemingreader.livejournal.com]

I agree with all previous advice. Poke the mods.

Also, please link to art so the rest of us may squee, kthxby.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

It was a Trek_exchange. I did post it to my journal, but here it is again. :D

http://tripperfunster.livejournal.com/146569.html#cutid1

And I poked him/her today, so I'll wait and see what happens.

<3

[synn.livejournal.com]

Ditto to what everyone else has said, poking the mods sounds like a good idea : )
I had the same thing happen once, though i never did anything about it, I probably should have...that was when I was new to not lurking in fandom.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Wow! Everyone seems to have a similar story! WHY DO PEOPLE SUCK SO MUCH?

i poked my recipient today. (nicely) :D

[huntress1013.livejournal.com]

Never participated in a fest (no time really) but I would really poke. It is NOT okay that you have never receibved a comment nor your own gift.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I'm not worried about MY gift. No biggie. And I guess, when it comes right down to it, I'm not even very mad at my recipient. I guess, I'm really just disappointed that she wasn't thrilled. You know?

I mean, I really tried to give her what she wanted. Us artists are always hoping to make people squee with teh happy. :D

And yes, I did poke.!

[xenafox.livejournal.com]

Like the person above me, I have never been in a fest. I would poke the person at fault not the mods, but that's just me and that could be wrong xD I don't know the etiquette.

I DON'T think it would be too much though just to send the person a note saying "Hey, I did your picture a month ago, I haven't heard anything back so I wanted to make sure; did you see it?" It can easily be done without coming off as a snobbish asshat :)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

*laughs in the face of etiquette*

Yeah, I poked her today. Contacting the mods seemed too much like crying to mommy.

[venturous1.livejournal.com]

oh-oh **feels automatically guilty**

what a jerk! who would love your art! I wanna see it, love it, have it's babies!

been there, and it's really sucky. I assume the worst.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Why the heck do you feel guilty? You drew me that AMAZING pic of Snape and Minerva. It was wonderful!!!!

[drusillas-rain.livejournal.com]

That sucks :(

My vote is to contact the mod (especially since you didn't receive anything)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I poked my recipient today. Let's see if anything happens!

[xterm.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling!! No advise, just a HUG!!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thanks!

[delorispea.livejournal.com]

I always read stuff like this and the general thing is to say to them hey, did you see what i did? in case they missed it.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I did exactly that, yesterday. Nothing so far .... thanks!

[juniperus.livejournal.com]

That happened to me with fic - never, ever, got a comment from the recipient.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

That is so crappy! It honestly never occured to me that someone would do this. Like... why? I was unable to give them their first choice, but I nailed the second choice.

Even if you hate it, you can at least say thanks! *kicks them*

[theficklepickle.livejournal.com]

Happened to me once; for a whole month I poured heart and soul into writing a story for an exchange, consulted the recipient along the way about her requirements, wrote something that is still garnering positive comments nearly five years later and the ungrateful beeyotch never even acknowledged receipt. On the positive side, though, the person who wrote something for me in the same exchange turned out to be a positive delight. You just have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a handsome prince, I'm afraid ...

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Wow, I have to say that I am surprised at the SHEER NUMBER of people this seems to have happened to.

SO WRONG!

[ghost-eye.livejournal.com]

been there myself, with a fest fic that I'd done art for as well, and I'm sure I'd seen that person comment & post in their journal since then. I put it down to maybe not doing quite what they wanted, or hitting a squick that the recipient didn't list or know, but even then a response still would've been nice

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

dude, it's like when your granny gives you UGLY socks. You smile, and say thank you!

WHERE HAVE MANNERS GONE?

I poked my recipient yesterday, and have heard nothing yet.