Day 40 Porny Question!

[tripperfunster]

Okay, Olivernsnape joked a while back that I'm going to ask you about your sex toys. SO I AM!
What toys do you have? What toys would you like to have? Lube? Or no lube? Stagnant? Or vibratory? Ribbed or plain? Blow up or ...?

As always, feel free to log out and comment anonymously. No pressure mah peeps.

Oh, as for mine?

I bought a vibrator/dildo thingie about a bazillion years ago, that we jokingly named Big Red. (because it's red.) It's the typical missile shape, with no 'head' or any type of penis acoutrements. Then joanwilder decided that I needed to spice up my toy chest, and has, over the years, given me nipple clamps. Ouch. I don't think my nipples are overly sensitive, but they are just TOO strong for me. She also gave me an anal plug, which sounded really, really scary, but it's actually pretty small and sparkly and purple! And vibrates! Still too big for my bum, but fun to play with all the same. And Joan's daughter Mandy gave me a ... silver bullet? It's a little silver vibrator, about the size of a ping pong ball, but more bullet shaped. That one is quite a bit of fun. :D

As for lube, I once bought those ... two types. One for the guy, one for the girl, and when they get together, they supposidly create MAGIC. Sadly, what they create is more like what I imagine a horrid case of gonnorhea feels like. OUCH BURNING! We had a good laugh, but really needed to shower off before any sexytimes could happen.

Comments

[oliversnape.livejournal.com]

Oh son of a bitch. *laughs*

[demicus.livejournal.com]

"Sadly, what they create is more like what I imagine a horrid case of gonnorhea feels like." LOL ...ouch! Last year I bought this horrid central vacuum (no, not as a sex toy) & the seller didn't want to fix the darned thing. Anyway, I was so miffed I actually looked for the Better Business Bureau online & found, quite by accident, several webpages complaining about the very product you alluded to. Oh, & the vacuum was replaced without my having to drag the BBB into the conversation I had with the faulty vacuum-seller. *smirk*

[(Anonymous)]

Uh... I'm with Oliversnape, above. ROFL.

Well... I don't blush as much as I used to but....
I have something like this but it's smaller and red:
http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/vibrators/traditional-vibrators/sp-velvet-touch-vibrator-15120.aspx

I have something like this but the shape is more round and gradual with more 'bumps' at the tip than at the other end:
http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/vibrators/g-spot-vibrators/sp-icicles-curved-glass-heart-massager-9345.aspx

I also have something like this, but it's longer and no testicles and I've never, ever used it:
http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/dildo-sex-toys/realistic-dildos/sp-the-original-realistic-cock-2192.aspx

And all my 'toys' are called BOB (Battery Operated Boyfriend).

And... I wonder how much I'm going to regret posting this.....

[droxy.livejournal.com]

half the stuff in the kitchen is a sex toy....=)

[joanwilder.livejournal.com]

Sigh. One of the things I miss most about cons is the look on your face when you get 'the next one'. As for homemade sex toys, try a turkey baster....

[redheadsarehot.livejournal.com]

Right now my sex toy is a 21 year old coworker with a huge dick. LOL

[indybaggins.livejournal.com]

My friend has a bottle of "warming" lube that's supposed to be super awesome. It has made its way through our entire circle of friends by now and we all agree, it's good for about a second or so and then it starts burning the hell out of your ladyparts! Will never try again.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I have one of those "Magic Wand" (that's the brand name, not my name for it!) type vibrators which I've nicknamed "my plastic husband" or "Robot House".

[(Anonymous)]

Fleshlight, and two different dildos. My nights get fun ;)

As for lubes, I like the gel-type ones because they make less of a friggen mess.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

My Kindle. ^_^ Seriously, the only sex toy I really need is erotica. No physical manipulation toy will ever take the place of some good porn text that I can hold with one hand, hee.

I did, however, buy a Squeel. It has its charms, but without the fantasy it's just another piece of boring tech. (I disagree with the reviews, though--I don't use lube with it. Lube messes with the friction.)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Well? WELL???? ;)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! I'm glad you cleared up that whole 'vacuum-not-as-a-sex-toy' thing. Although ...

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Why would you regret it? YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO MASTURBATES ON THE WHOLE INTERNET!!!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I will think twice if you ever invite me over for dinner. ;)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I thought turkey basters were just for getting preggo. I'm DONE with that shit! ;) Plus, pointy end ow!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

BEST
ANSWER
EVER

I love that you are robbing the proverbial cradle. Have fun babe!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yes, needless to say, I will not be trying anything labeled MAGIC on my ladyparts again. ;)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Twelve inches, unicorn hair? pffft! ;D

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I like them both. (gel and liquid) Although the gel always feels colder. YEEP!

Are fleshlights fun? They kind of make me want a penis even more than i already do.

are they hard to clean??? (fleshlights, not peen)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

OMG I've never heard of the sqweel. Of course, I've never heard of some other things they sell, like ANAL BLEACH and LIQUID VIRGIN DROPS, but hey, I'm not porn expert.

I am intruigued by the toy. Reccomend? y/y?

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I meant to add, OH GOD YES EROTICA! My husband did not exactly complain when my 'new' hobby was reading/writing/drawing porn. I'm pretty much ready to 'go' 24/7.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

speaking of unicorns if you're going to do more of your famous cartoon porn would you consider doing My Little Porny Fucking Is Magic?

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ugh, sadly I FUCKING HATE MLP. The closest i came was Umbridge pegging a unicorn (which was dumbledore in his MLP animagus state.)

I know it's a super popular fandom, but I DO NOT GET IT.

[(Anonymous)]

The suction on them is unreal. Almost too much when it's brand new - it was like being a first timer again. :P

They're not too bad to clean - the inner fleshy bit comes out of the holder so you can wash it. Interestingly, even if you use lube, it'll tear a condom if you try to use one of those (to contain the mess).

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

oh well. I don't get why so many people think Neil Patrick Harris is Mr. Awesome so I sort of know how you feel.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Hee! I quite like NPH, but don't really care for the Beatles. *gasp!!* and think Maralyn Monroe was WAY over hyped. So yeah, I'm hearing you! :D I also don't get all the bullshit about the Kennedys. bla fucking bla. Don't even get me started on the Kardashians. *shudder*

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I am a HUGE Beatle fan so people always think I am going to get all offended if they're not that into them. I'm not offended unless someone is one of those assholes who want to see Chapman get paroled.
The 50s female movie star everybody else loves who I was never into was Audrey Hepburn. Kardashians are trash I agree.

[droxy.livejournal.com]

Like you would complain...LOL

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Recommend for those who like toys, but for those who are like me--try 'em, put 'em down after a day or two, saying, "Eh, too much bother for the same result," then probably the same thing will happen with this one. I do still have it near my bed, though, waiting for the right mood to hit again and give it another--heh--whirl.

(Somehow this icon seems appropriate.)

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I'M TELLING YOU. Nothin' like text fantasy or head fantasy.

[ghost-eye.livejournal.com]

Welll, nowadays, I'm pretty well with amanuensis1 on those things (though I find pron - of both drawn& written kind - a bit like cooking, it always seems to taste a lot better when made by someone else). However, in days gone by I did make good use of candle coarving skills. One of those things that broke art students used to get up to, methinks (clicky-draggy & remember, once you read it you'll never ever UnSee it)