OMG I am picky and spoiled and can no longer enjoy most fanfiction.

[tripperfunster]

*flails*

I've just back buttoned on three fics. Three fics that were RECOMMENDED on the Avengers search sites. All three sounded intruiging and all three lost me in the first two paragraphs by overexplaining stuff (Tony had just returned from Tokyo Japan) Really? Not Tokyo Omaha?

Using pet names He wanted to surprise his lover. He had been away and had missed his lover. I don't know why 'lover' bugs me so much, but it does. I guess, unless I was having a torrid affair, I would never refer to someone as my 'lover.' How about he just missed Steve? Even if it was "since they'd become lovers," or something, but UGH. rant rant rant.

And finally, the dreaded epithet (which I guess 'lover' would qualify), "The Man from World War 2". Yes, they called him that. As in, "The man from world war two crossed the room and walked into the elevator."


*cries* These might actually be great fics, but I will never be able to enjoy them. I've become a fic!snob.

I might be able to stomach some of these things say ... a couple of chapters in, but all of these things happened in the first couple of paragraphs.

I also hate it when someone mentally referrs to their mate as their 'husband'. I guess it's for the same reasons as 'lover'. Partly is feels like the writer is screaming I BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE EQUALITY (which, of course, I do too, but it feels odd and forced to me) and partly because I never think of my husband as my 'husband.

I don't think : "Hey, I wonder if my husband is home." I wonder if LANCE is home. I often refer to him as my husband when I'm talking to other people (who don't know him well,) as in: "Yes, my husband is also very tall." but I never think to MYSELF, Gosh, my husband is so tall. I think that LANCE is so tall.

COMFORT ME WITH OTHER THINGS YOU AND I BOTH HATE TOGETHER. And I'll tell my HUSBAND/LOVER/THE MAN WHO WAS NOT IN WORLD WAR 2 ABOUT IT.

Comments

[sra-danvers.livejournal.com]

OMG I just finished my first long fic in English and I made all these bad steps XD
*runs to hide*

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

:D Well, speaking two languages is a fantastic excuse!

Epithets are never good. Don't say "The blond man" or "The brunette man" or God Forbid "The shorter brunette oncologist." :D

Snape, Harry, Steve, Tony. JUST USE THE NAMES!

And don't feel too bad, because I HAVE USED THESE THINGS TOO! I look back at early fic and CRINGE. :D

I guess it's like crawling before you learn to walk. We all seem to have to take those steps in the same way and fall down a few times. :D

Also, there are people out there who don't hate that stuff. I am not one of them .;) (But I love YOU, dear!!)

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

This isn't even a quality thing, it's just an idiosyncratic preference thing - I can no longer stand the word "broken" in fic. (Referring to people. To things, no problem.) Like, every time I run across it I do this sort of comical "graarrhghg!" thing - and inevitably I keep reading, because often it's a perfectly good fic, but it always takes me a few minutes to recover.

Why? I have no idea.

[droxy.livejournal.com]

I cant stand "bubblegum" fic.

I REALLY hate butchered time travel fics. cannot stand...do not like..makes me scream

[sra-danvers.livejournal.com]

Is my third language, but I don't speak perfectly any of them XD

The problem is in Spanish we use so many synonyms because we don't use to repeat names. It sounds strange to me ^^

I'm not crawling, I'm creeping like a worm XD Just thanks to my betas is readable XD

[evilmissbecky.livejournal.com]

Epithets are the worst. The absolute worst. If you call Steve "the blond" in your fic, I am outta there. I don't care how good it is. (Also high on my shitlist: calling Tony "the genius.")

The word "shriek." I don't know why, but I hate it. Say scream, yell, shout. Just please I beg you, not shriek.

And although this is surely an unpopular opinion, I can't understand the liking for high school and college AUs. Same with the A/B/O trope. More power to you if you like that kind of story, but they are not for me.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

What's the third language? And honey, there are tons of Americans (and Canadians) that only speak one language and do a total SHIT job of it! :D

I'm sure synonyms are just fine in Spanish, just not in MY English fic. ;D

<3

[charisstoma.livejournal.com]

I have problems with something you see in other media too.

Serious harm is done to a character; raped with long pointy things or things that split them open,and even the evil character says that it's their painful death "HAHAHA"(train wreak reading, I made it to the end). Or the charactor is smashed with obvious killing blows from swords/ mightly hammers/the deathspell that tops all death spells (Bleach); and they go aaaaahhhhhh. Then they get up and mount a powerful defense or live to be abused again.

Some explanation of why this person isn't dead would be nice. Even better if a magic spell/potion/whatever heals them to better than ever.

Make my fantasy reading semi-believable.

*puts paperbag over my head*


This reminds me of my childhood nightmares where everybody is rescued but I know that there's one more person left in/on the sinking island/haunted mansion/terrible inferno.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! I hate "shell" when describing someone's ear. I know there is nothing wrong with that description, but I make a simialr sound when I read it.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Bubblegum. Is that the same as fluff?

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! Even better when they call him the BLONDE!! :D

I wonder why shriek creeps you out. That's funny. I love it when there is NO REASON for things I hate, and yet, I hate them anyway. :D

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I also love it when there is a massive gun fight, but only the bad guys get shot. ;) WHO IS TRAINING THESE BAD GUYS TO SHOOT?

[evilmissbecky.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure why. I guess when I see "shriek" I just hear this awful high-pitched noise and it's not remotely anything I want in my head when I'm reading a story.

I'm weird, what can I say? ;-)

[sra-danvers.livejournal.com]

Català, from Catalonia. You know, Barcelona. We want to be a country, divorcing from Spain XD
And I speak a bit of French. I love French, I love France ^^ I love Canada too! Just not Spain :-P

[droxy.livejournal.com]

Bubblegum is really bad romance. Yes really bad fluff. I had to read a lot of Hermione/Draco- the ship of bubblegum. Yes there are great fic in that ship, just that there is alot of bubblegum in too. Bubblegum is 12 and 14 year old girls writing romance...

[angelbabe_cj]

I am also in hate of epithets. I will put up with them if I'm otherwise loving the fic and they're not EVERYWHERE. I have read things where I've actually said 'just use a fucking name, names are good' to the screen, or something very similar.

I have an irrational dislike of the word nape if it is not connected to 'of the/his/her neck'. I don't know why but it annoys me. I put up with it mostly because I know it's mad, but I just like the full wording for some reason.

Sudden use of pet names or nicknames, particularly 'love' when a. it is wildly out of character, or b. they seriously started their relationship or shagging the same day or some really short space of time. You already call them something and use it more affectionately? Fine. You call everybody you like honey/sweetie/babe and you want to use that or some variation thereupon specifically for them? Also fine. You suddenly start using cutesy names for someone because you're fucking? NOOOOO. *backbutton*

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Uh ... how would you use the word 'nape' if it wasn't part of someone's neck? Or are you saying that they just leave out the neck part?


Yes, pet names, especially premature ones are super annoying for me too.

[angelbabe_cj]

The neck part gets left out. Totally the same thing. You get something like, Steve grabbed Tony by the nape and pulled him into a kiss. I have to add 'of the neck' every time. It makes me twitchy otherwise. No idea why, I know what they mean. It just feels unfinished.

[whizzy.livejournal.com]

Hm. Writers getting creative because they don't believe "said" is perfectly adequate and non-distracting 98% of the time.

Like teenagers/like a teenage girl. KILL IT WITH FIRE.

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

Oh my god! I love shell. Especially when there is licking involved. And shivering. Ear licking is hot.

[sara-wolf.livejournal.com]

I hate when I have very specific fic that I want to read, and there's only one out there, and I can't read it because it's so badly written.

Also:

Not changing paragraphs when a new person speaks.

Pure dialogue, without any surrounding action or context. ("Are you okay?" "Yes, I'm fine." "Good, I'm fine, too.") For the love of god, I want to know what they're doing so that I don't have to pretend they're just standing there like statues.

And the biggest pet peeve I didn't know that I had until I encountered it: no punctuation in dialogue. ("Hey are you going to the store" "Yes I'm taking the car") I never thought the loss of a simple period would drive me to such depths of utter rage.

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

I'm starting to get that way about the "column" of someone's throat - and I've even written it. I've just seen it too many times now.

[schemingreader.livejournal.com]

Shorter brunette oncologist!

hahahahah

[gmonkey42.livejournal.com]

I sympathize. I have gotten very picky with Sherlock fanfic. So many of them have subpar writing, out-of-character behavior, and/or Americanisms.

The thing with epithets is a pet peeve for me too. "The doctor" "the shorter man" "the detective" "the blonde [sic]" gaah!

[gmonkey42.livejournal.com]

>Not changing paragraphs when a new person speaks.

Yes! And on top of that not putting any dialog attribution so you have to scroll back up to try to work out who's speaking!