Exploits of a DIY vet

[tripperfunster]

Remember that time I Circumsized a duck? Of course you do! Unless you've blocked it out, which I totally understand.

Well this time it was my horse, although, thankfully, his penis was just fine and needed no attention from me.

Spock is old and blind and often gets bullied by my other horses. To cut down on this, we corral him by himself at feeding time so they don't push him around and steal his food, but somewhere, somehow, he got a good bite on his shoulder and it swelled right up.

It didn't seem infected. It wasn't warm to the touch, and although swollen, it wasn't firm, just ... fluidy. Kind of like and I.V. bag. (or a breast implant??) My son once twisted his knee quite badly and it swelled up and the doctors drained it with a large gauge needle. HOW HARD COULD IT BE, AMIRITE?

So, I went out with my trusty pumpkin carving craft knife, some polysporin and three paper towels. I had hubby hold him in place and I went to work. Spock didn't mind at all, just ate his oats and ignored me completely, as did hubby, because he cannot handle blood. ;)

Well, lets just say that three paper towels was about 300 short of what I needed. You'd think I'd slit his throat instead of this boo boo. Except, of course, that the blood was watery and brownish, not artery-red. 200 gallons later, I slathered on the polysporin, and we both went our separate ways.

Except it came back.

I called the vet, and he said that what i'd done was pretty much exactly what he would have, except I needed to CUT THE HOLE BIGGER and then slather it with Vaseline, so that it stayed open and the wound could continue to drain. Yummy! Thank god it's too cold for bugs now, because yuck.



This time, when I cut it open, there were CHUNKS of ... stuff? The vet said coagulated proteins. Very Walking Dead. I am quite convinced, after slicing him open and having to ... milk the gunk out of this wound, that I am totes prepared for the grossness of a zombie apocalypse.



BTW, hubby wasn't home, so I did this on my own, and Spock happily stood there, munching on his bucket of oats while I sliced and squeezed and squished and vaselined him. It's obviously not bothering him much.

Comments

[demicus.livejournal.com]

You turned Spock into a zombie for Halloween?! You pick the best costumes. LL&P, Spock. LL&P.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! I should have put some blood on his face too. ;)

[bugeyedmonster.livejournal.com]

Hope this helps the horse. (Obviously, he trusts y'all.)

My mom's cat has back trouble, and is half blind. There are two new younger cats that live in the garage. If we let them into the house, they will bully Mom's cat.

I'm guessing animals do that because it's like an element left over from the wild.

And Spock is now ready for Halloween. :D

PS.

I and my dad (mom is squeamish and vomits easily) have tended some of the animals with illnesses, but we've never had any really gross stuff. I had a cat with diabetes, and another cat with kidney troubles who got sub-cu fluids. The only time that got messy was when I somehow put the needle through a fold of skin, rather than under, and the fluids ended up on the floor.

I've heard horses have thick skin. I keep telling my dad that mom is not a farm animal. His parents had farm animals, and he keeps trying to just move mom, without warning her, and he uses his fingernails.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've had to do subQ fluids to animals a few times.

Horses are pretty mean to each other, even when they're not blind. It really took some getting used to. If they were people, I'd want nothing to do with them!

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Trip, you are my hero ♥

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! Pretty lame hero, if you ask me!

[charisstoma.livejournal.com]

One- he's has very pretty pattern coat.
Two- EWwwwwweeeee. We do what we have to do though. I remember the time when my daughter had a big inflated tick in her ear....

This was interesting and I cede to you the title of 'Mistress of Squick' with no argument at all.

That is a very nice Vet you've got there.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Country vets are a little different than small-animal city vets. although ... my city vet is pretty cool too. She's given me some pretty rockin' advice over the phone.

Yeah, ticks are even grosser than injuries sometimes.

[accioslash.livejournal.com]

Um, you waited until after you did this to consult the vet? I would have totally helped, though.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I seriously would have become a vet if it hadn't involved 3495834587 years of school. I had a rock 'n' roll band to front. Who has time for school???


and yeah, I consulted him AFTER the first time, but before the second time. ;)

[facecat.livejournal.com]

Why Vaseline? Vaseline forms a seal over the wound so it doesn't heal properly from the inside out. My cat had an abscess & I used antibiotic ointment & vet said never to use an ointment on an open wound. Maybe horses are different? Poor guy. Why are the other horses mean to him?

I read your duck story. lmao. There has to be a duck you/me joke in there somewhere.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

See, the vet didn't want it to heal at the incision. He wants it to remain open so that the wound can drain. It won#t heal properly if it keeps filling with fluid.

[foxestacado.livejournal.com]

Oh Spock looks so cute! Such a pretty dappled horsey. Even bloodied.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

He is as skinny as a milk cow (and has been since before I got him) but his colouring is gorgeous. He is a leopard appaloosa. Sadly, blindness is very common with that breed. I didn#nt know that when I bought him, though.

[sevs-girl72.livejournal.com]

You are quite possibly the most amazing and interesting person on the planet or at least, my f-list. I don't comment often, but damn! the things you are willing to do to help out an animal - inspiring.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Hee! Well, I think that I have massively mis-represented my life! It is long, long stretches of normal and boring, accented with the occasional amazing, trust me.

But thanks! Your comment made my day!

[droxy.livejournal.com]

What pretty coloring on that horse! Glad you took care of him.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Isn't he beautiful? I had no idea that this breed of horse was prone to blindness. :(

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

Spock is a wonderful boy.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

He is very sweet. But a big, stumbling fool, so you have to watch yourself around him, or he'll wack you in the face with his head! :D

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

Spock looks like a lovely horse, and he's lucky to have you to take care of him.

[kath-ballantyne.livejournal.com]

Glad the horse is so placid. He's obviously not in a lot of pain with it.
We've had to do similar things to the cats. We used pawpaw ointment which is basically just vaseline with pawpaw extract.

Can't say the cats were quite as placid.