Snerkity-snerk
Mar. 9th, 2007 08:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tripperfunster*giggle*
I live in Canada, and while I have never been abroad, and will admit some ignorance when it comes to geography, many Americans that I have met have put the 'knowledge bar' so low, that I had to laugh when I recieved this email, and thusly, I share it with you, lovely flist.
TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!
As you know, Vancouver will host the 2010 Winter Olympics.
Here are some questions people from all over the world are asking.
Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto; can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver?
(Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, right after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?
(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
And one personal note:
I moved to California for a year, and one sweet woman asked me;
Her: When did you move here?
Me: In the summer.
Her: Oh. Our summer or yours?
Me: .... .... yours.
I also had MANY people ask/comment on how amazed I must be, with all the technology down in the states. It must be overwhelming for someone like myself, coming from living in an igloo and eating whale blubber. *facepalm*
Now, granted, this was during highschool, and highschool students are notoriously STOOPID!
I live in Canada, and while I have never been abroad, and will admit some ignorance when it comes to geography, many Americans that I have met have put the 'knowledge bar' so low, that I had to laugh when I recieved this email, and thusly, I share it with you, lovely flist.
TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!
As you know, Vancouver will host the 2010 Winter Olympics.
Here are some questions people from all over the world are asking.
Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto; can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver?
(Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, right after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?
(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
And one personal note:
I moved to California for a year, and one sweet woman asked me;
Her: When did you move here?
Me: In the summer.
Her: Oh. Our summer or yours?
Me: .... .... yours.
I also had MANY people ask/comment on how amazed I must be, with all the technology down in the states. It must be overwhelming for someone like myself, coming from living in an igloo and eating whale blubber. *facepalm*
Now, granted, this was during highschool, and highschool students are notoriously STOOPID!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2007-03-09 02:48 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2007-03-09 03:35 pm (UTC)*g*
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Date: 2007-03-09 03:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-09 03:17 pm (UTC)Now, keep in mind, the ages of the question askers wasn't given, they may have been young.
Also, Canadians are notoriously sarcastic. part of the problem is, we actually DO answer questions with these types of answers. I don't think it helps the problem!
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Date: 2007-03-09 04:18 pm (UTC)You know your educational system is in trouble when you are relieved that your fellow countryfolk didn't ask ALL the stupid questions.
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Date: 2007-03-09 08:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-09 09:07 pm (UTC)Actually, although we are officially half french, we're really more like .. 80% English.
Actually, scratch that, NOW, we've got tons of people of all colours from all over the world (most noteably Pakistan and Asia) but waaay back when, we were mostly European.
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Date: 2007-03-09 11:55 pm (UTC)Also: come naked? Don't mind if I do!
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Date: 2007-03-10 12:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-10 12:35 am (UTC)AHAHAHAHA!!! She probably heard that Australia has its seasons backwards and now thinks that ANY country where they speak English but aren't American has their seasons all mixed up, too. :)
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Date: 2007-03-10 02:59 am (UTC)questions, purportedly about Canada... *snerk*
Date: 2007-03-10 05:09 am (UTC)LOLarious...Wow...That is some scary shizzle... ;P
Too funny. Love the "we watch the plants die" and "we're vegan" answers...
WOW.
Ignorance is quite boundless, isn't it? *sigh* ...*snerk*
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Date: 2007-03-10 06:37 am (UTC)You know, I'd rather watch the naked hippo mud wresting...
*Giggle* Canadian North is true north, not magnetic north like here in the states. That's why we're so stupid. We're 4* (or so) off...
Not to stand up for Americans or anything, (seeing as I can see Lake Erie out of my north-facing bedroom window, and because the stupidity of fellow man in general amuses me...) but I want to point out that the president of the United States can not even find Italy on a map.
And he choked on a pretzel back in what was it? 2001? 2002?
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Date: 2007-03-11 12:19 am (UTC)*headdesk*