tripperfunster

Ahh, the mormons! So enthusiastic! Here are their intructions on how to avoid masturbating.

Mormon Instructions on Masturbation
From a Guide to Mormon Youth
====================================

"Guide to Self-Control: Overcoming Masturbation."

:: Enlist The Power Of Prayer

Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen
you against temptation.

Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.

Oh God! Jesus YES!

When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell "Stop!" to those
thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind. Then recite a portion of the
Bible or sing a hymn.

My mouth says 'stop', but my vibrator sez bbzzzzzzzzzzz

:: Exercise Vigorously

Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise, which reduce emotional
tension and depression.

Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

Well, that would be one hell of a weight loss regime!

:: Set Goals

Set a goal of abstinence. Begin with a day, then a week, month, year.
Finally, commit yourself to never doing it again. <----gasp ... for realz?

Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you but
show it to no one.

If you masturbate, color that day black. Your goal will be to have no
black days.

bwahahahaha! I shudder to think of the Sharpie markers I would burn through.

The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder, and should be looked at
when you are tempted to add another black day.

Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

Set up a reward system. Each time you reach a goal, award yourself a
quarter. Spend it on something that delights you.
hmmm... what would DELIGHT me? *thinks*

:: Work On Self-Improvement

Work daily on a self-improvement program. Improve your relationships with
your family. Increase your service to your church.

Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to
enjoy working and talking with them.

Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily
overcoming tempting situations.
I usually spend time every day imagining Snape or Spock as strong, and in control in tempting situations

:: Avoid Temptation

When on the toilet or showering, leave the door partly open. so people can watch

Arise immediately in the mornings. Don't lie awake in bed -- start each
day with enthusiastic activity. *g*

Avoid people, situations, pictures and reading material that might create
sexual excitement. Oh internets, I'm really going to miss you

:: Use Physical Restraints <------ I thought they were trying to get me to STOP! :d

Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.

Put on several layers of clothing that would be difficult to remove while
half asleep.

Hold an object -- for example, a Bible -- even in bed at night. Even a bible, with a bit of Lube can be a fun toy.

In severe cases, tie a hand to the bed frame. this one is just too easy

:: Be Alert To Emotions

Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely,
bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the
desire to masturbate as a way of escape.

Plan to counter these low periods through reading a book, visiting a
friend, doing something athletic, etc.

Employ aversion therapy. To cancel out the pleasurableness of
masturbating , associate something very distasteful with the act. For
example, imagine bathing in a tub of worms and eating some of them.
but .. but WHAT IF WORMS ARE MY KINK? I like to pretend they're tiny tentacles

I hate to be negative, but i just don't think this is going to work for me.