OMG the crazy!

[tripperfunster]

What the FUCK is wrong with people now a days?



A woman comes into our store today, with her friend. They are both in their forties, but when they see the kittens, they both start squealing like little girls. I was busy, but one of my staff was helping them. It turns out, that one woman (we'll call her crazy1) wanted to buy a kitten for her child, for christmas, and wanted to keep it at the other woman's (crazy2) house until then. This is not the least stressful thing for a pet to go through, and both women seemed a little 'off' so my employee asked another employee for advice. Well, it turns out that employee2 recoginzed Crazy2 as a woman who had 'surprised' her husband with two cats the week before, and then ended up returning one, because they already had TWO CATS and her husband is allergic. (so now they have three cats !?)

Anyhoo, employee2 tells Crazy1 and Crazy2 that we cannot send a cat home again to Crazy2's house, because HER HUSBAND IS ALLERGIC AND SHE ALREADY RETURNED A CAT TO US. So Crazy1 says that maybe they can hide the cat somewhere else. Employee2 says .... yeah....no. Things go downhill from there, and the women are told that we won't sell a cat to them because we are 'just not comfortable' doing that.

Fastforward a few minutes, and the women are demanding to talk to the manager. I'd been briefed on the situation, so I knew what was up.

Me:Employee1 and 2 aren't comfortable sending that kitten home with you, and I am inclined to agree.

Crazy1: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT I AM A BAD PET OWNER? I JUST SPENT A THOUSAND DOLLARS ON MY DOG AT THE VET!

Me:I'm not saying that you are a bad pet owner. I am saying that we are not comfortable sending a cat home with you.

Crazy1: I AM A SCHOOL TEACHER!eleventy1!! I HAD A BASSET HOUND AND ANOTHER DOG! MY SON HAS WANTED A CAT FOR FOUR YEARS!

Me:I don't know you at all. All I know is that the situation, as it went down today, is not something that we are comfortable sending an animal home to.

Crazy1:HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT I AM A BAD PET OWNER?? I JUST SPENT OVER $2000 ON MY DOG AT THE VET!!

Me: repeats same conversation a million times.

Crazy2: I'm calling my husband! He spends a lot of money at this store and after I tell him what you've done, he won't shop here any more.

Me:Threatening me like that is not going to convince me to give you the cat. In fact, it only makes me more sure that I've made the right call here. My job is to look out for the animal. I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings, but this is my decision and it's final.

Crazy2: I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND!

Me: He's not here right now. If you'd like to come back tomorrow, you can speak with him then.

Crazy2:I WANT TO TALK TO HIM RIGHT NOW. What's your phone number?

Me: ??I'm not giving you my home phone number.

Crazy2:I WANT TO SPEAK WITH YOUR HUSBAND! He knows my husband and he won't be happy about the terrible things you've said about me.

Me: I haven't said anything bad about you.

Crazy1: YOU SAID I WAS A BAD PET OWNER! thousand dollars on my dog, bla bla

Me: no, I said that I wasn't comfortable sending a kitten home with you today. I don't know you from Adam. You might be a great pet owner, you might be a serial killer, I don't know. All I know is, I am NOT SENDING A CAT HOME WITH YOU TODAY.

Crazy1: How about tomorrow?

Me: no.

Crazy2: I WANT TO TALK TO THE OWNER.

Me: I AM the owner.

Crazy2: I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND!!

Me: Fine, let me call him. *dials fake number and lets it 'ring' for a while*
Me: He's not home. You'll have to wait until tomorrow.

Crazy2:I want to leave him a message.

Me:Fine. *hands her a pen and paper*

Crazy2: No. I want to leave him a phone message.

Me? WTF? No. You may leave him a written message if you like.

Crazy2: So, you're NOT going to give me his home number? Why not?

Me:OMG! Because I don't give my number out to CRAZY BATSHIT FREAKS! (okay, I didn't say that.)

Crazy1: I have a friend at the Free Press (our city's main newspaper) and I am going to write to them and tell them all about you.

Me:So, you're going to tell them that we don't send animals home to places that we think are unsuitable? And we won't be bullied or threatened into doing it? I am totes okay with that. Please make sure you spell my name correctly.

Crazy1: I AM A GOOD PET OWNER! I SPENT OVER A THOUSAND DOLLARS ON MY SICK DOG.

Me: Yes, I understand that. *pours a rum and coke for myself*

So anyhoo, they write this HI-larious note to my hubby about how we were rude to them and DISCRIMINATED AGAINST THEM (two white women???) and how we said they were bad pet owners. etc etc etc.

Of course, they were hogging the front counter, and Crazy2 was dictating the whole thing to Crazy1, and they said 'the manager' bla bla , and I said, "Oh no, I'm not the manager, I'm the OWNER" and one of them sez; "ooh, a little power hungry are we?" So then they proceed to call me a bitch (to each other, not directly to me) and so she scribbles out 'manager' and says 'what should I put?" and I said, "Why don't you just put BITCH?"

The store was pretty busy, and most customers were amused by the crazy.

So, they leave, and I call hubby to give him the heads up about teh crazy, and the other line beeps, so I click over to the other line.

Me:Thank you for calling our pet store, how can I help you?

Woman: Yes, could you please give me the phone number of Lance, the owner?

Me: Oh yes! It's 1 800 EAT SHIT YOU CRAZY BITCH! (okay, I may or may not have said that...)

Later on, Crazy1 comes back with Crazy2's husband (the one who spends money in our store) and he is embarrassed, but tries to talk me into sending the cat home with Crazy1. My god! You would think that this was the only cat in the goddamned city! I tell him the same thing, and add on, 'Ya know, it's not just that we were uncomfortable with them, it's that they got rude and abusive. I don't care if they bring back Jesus Christ as a character witness, you don't threaten me and call me a bitch and then COME BACK AND TRY AGAIN! I would sooner snap that cute little kittens brittle neck than send it home with that batshit crazy bitch!

Crazy1 went on another rampage, and said that she would NOT be shopping at our store again (well duh, like we'd let her) and she would NOT be giving us good reviews. Plz, tell all your crazy batshit friends to NOT shop at my store. PLEASE!

*sigh* That was fun. So, how was YOUR day? ;)

Comments

[chiralove.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Sorry you had to deal with the crazy!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I feel more bad for my staff. NOBODY gets paid enough to deal with that shit.

[redheadsarehot.livejournal.com]

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

First off, you own a pet store! Thats awesome, I never knew that.

Second, FUCKING CRAZY ASS BITCHES! Ugh you handled them so much better than I would have. I hate crazy ass people that think they are entitled to anything they want. Stupid whores

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yup, we own a petstore. Generally, it is lots of fun. Sometimes, NOT SO MUCH.

Retail is tough.

Actually, I'm generally pretty level headed with jerks. I guess, just knowing that I can tell them to get the fuck out (because I own the place) makes me not have to. Plus, people get waay more upset when you smile and are nice, even though they are red faced and fuming. ;D I did tell one guy to fuck off once though ...

[ehmaz.livejournal.com]

I really think the phrase "the customer is always right" has done serious damage to this country. People get CRAZY at retail stores. They think they are gods and the people who work there are little peons born and raised simply to do their bidding. It gets ridiculous, and this is a perfect example of that.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, dear. Sucks the big one, it does :(

While not totally similar, I did have a very frustrating guest at the hotel last night. They were having a party up in their room (why people think hotel=party I have no idea), called once, told them to quiet... didn't happen, so I went up to their room personally and told them they needed to be quiet/break up the party. The guy basically laughed in my face. Sooo, big surprise, they didn't quiet down, next time I talked to him I said "You break up the party now or I can either evict you from the hotel or call the police and have them trespass you." Yeah, I think he understood at that point I wasn't joking around :P

I'm not really a feminist, but I have noticed that when the guys at work tell people to be quiet they take them a lot more seriously than short lil' me. The funny thing is, the guys that work at the desk have no balls at all and wait until I get there for the night shift and make me go up to the rooms and tell people to quiet down >_>

Sorry, didn't mean to ramble, ha! Anyway, I feel your pain, bb.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we have a saying at our store;

The customer is always right, unless, of course, they are a DUMBASS, in which case, they need a slap.

The woman also said that I hadn't given her a good reason for not selling her the cat, and that I HAD to give her a good reason. I informed her, that no, I didn't actually have to give her any reason at all. It was my store, and I didn't have to sell anything to anyone if I didn't want to.

People are funny! And yeah, I get discounted a lot because I'm a tiny gal. I've actually had men ask to talk to the owner, and I tell them "That's me!" and they say, "no, the REAL owner". I then am compelled to tell them that although I don't own a penis, I DO own a store. Nuff said.

[clayangel.livejournal.com]

My girlfriend works at a PetSmart, and this is one customer she had today:

Man: Do you know which cat food tastes best?
Girlfriend: No....
Man: How long have you worked here?
Girlfriend: Almost three years.
Man: And you haven't eaten the cat food?
Girlfriend: No....
Man: How can you sell a product if you don't know anything about it?

Yes, he was completely serious.

*hugs for batshit!crazy customers*

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! That's funny! I had some woman tell me that animals KNOW when a food is good for them, and they won't eat stuff that is bad for them. I pointed out that my dogs routinely eat their own shit, not to mention cat shit, chicken shit, horse shit, and their favourite, pig shit. She just stood there, open mouthed. They also eat garbage, wild mushrooms, grass and SHOES for fuck's sake. *sigh*

I've had people ask what we do with the animals that don't sell.

Well, we eat them, of course! We'd kill them for sport, but that's just wasteful.

[xenafox.livejournal.com]

I didn't know you owned a pet store...wait...maybe I did....actually now it seems vaguely familiar...so ignore the fact that I just typed that!

AND WTF CRAZY LADIES AND CATS ARGH. You got one this weekend and I got one last weekend. AREN'T THEY FUCKING FUN!!?

Good call on not sending kitty home with Batshit Bitch or whatever. Man. I like how they think saying they will never spend money there again or whatever will make you go "Oh I'm sorry precious poo! Take the kitten take all of them! In fact, here's a diamond studded cat collar for your troubles!" dfm,fjgnbsgjkjk Yeaaa.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

You know, I was totally thinking of you, and your unsuitable woman the whole time! I was wondering if she went crazy on your ass when you didn't give her the Batman. <3

And yeah, we usually joke that most customers expect a blow job and a crisp fifty dollar bill, just for shopping at our store.

[xenafox.livejournal.com]

She didn't dish out the crazy to us, nope...she just got very emotional and told us her life story when we called @_@ (Someone not crazy came to see Batman on Friday....blargh.. :/ )

[florahart]

The part of this that just ...WHUT.

is that they insist on talking to your HUSBAND, like you need to be told BY HIM how to behave or something.

Which, ew.

Crazy1: I have a friend at the Free Press (our city's main newspaper) and I am going to write to them and tell them all about you.

Me:So, you're going to tell them that we don't send animals home to places that we think are unsuitable? And we won't be bullied or threatened into doing it? I am totes okay with that. Please make sure you spell my name correctly.

Me: And then you will be legitimately able to respond to them by name in your letter of response and describe their batshit behavior and then NO responsible pet store will deal with them...ALAS.

Heh.

Once years and years ago when I was a wee teenager working in the only fast food place in my small town, I had a customer in the drive through who didn't like his service and threw back all the food through the window, demanding new, etc, declaring us racists for giving him, uh, what he asked for rather than something else (I have no idea; batshit x 1 million) and then, when he wouldn't leave the drive through etc, he demanded we call the cops because he just knew they would get in touch with the state restaurant association or some damn thing.

Us: ...okay!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Crazy1's husband vaguely knows my husband from highschool. Except not really. And yeah, as if he's going to superscede me, just to make some crazy bitch happy. *boggles*

And OH YES! on the newspaper thing! Even when I repeated that entire sentence back to them, they didn't get it. (obviously, there is a LOT they don't get.)

I'm still in awe that she CAME BACK AFTER CALLING ME A BITCH and thought I would give her the cat. ON WUT PLANET WOULD THIS BE NORMAL?

[gaycrow.livejournal.com]

I'm full of admiration that you stuck to your guns, in a very awkward situation. Especially in front of other customers. What a nightmare!

I hope nothing comes of it, and that these crazy people never set foot in your store again. Or, that they have to come back, because you're the only place that sells the things they need, and they have egg all over their pasty faces. ;-)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I've had a few occasions where people get in a snit and loudly declare that they will NEVER SET FOOT IN THIS STORE AGAIN! Only to return a month later, because frankly, we have the best prices and the most knowledgable staff.

I had one guy scream and yell that he was never coming back, and then came back two minutes later, because he'd left his keys on our counter. *snicker*

The funny thing was, that just at that moment, when the ladies were at their 'peak' of bitching, the store seemed to be full of VERY regular customers, who were all rolling their eyes and snickering at them. I'm honestly surprised that none of them spoke up in our defence. I'm glad they didn't, because i don't need a fist fight, but it would have been funny.

[drcjsnider.livejournal.com]

Omy... i'd rather deal with students and their parents ANY DAY rather than have to deal with this!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I dunno. Any time that you deal with the public, you end up with teh crazy. Generally, though, we have lots of awesome customers, who are responsible pet owners and appreciate our advice.

As crazy as people are about animal, I'm sure they're even crazier about their kids!

[drcjsnider.livejournal.com]

yeah... but i'm dealing with college kids, so parents rarely track me down and when they do by law i'm not suppose to tell them much :)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, there's no lack of stoopid customer stories to share!

[gestaltrose.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Better than yours love.

Not great... but I picked up my girl today, that meant I had to deal with the ex but it was okay I just had to hear.. omg we are so tapped out... they make probably four times what my whole household makes... guy, sister in law and me.... sighs

Sorry you had to deal with crazy as batshit people...

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yeah, my mom likes to complain about her lack of money. This would be in between trips to Cuba and cruises to nice warm places.

[djin7.livejournal.com]

Jesus. Good call on the safety of the animals, and your employees sensing the crazy right off the bat, tho. *Nods*

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yes, my staff are very good at that. And they don't work on commission, so there's no pressure to sell.

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

Wow. Everybody else has already said most of what ran through my head, so I'll just sit here marveling at the crazy. (And I work in mental health! I swear, the general undiagnosed public has more crazy than my folks.)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I'm sure they had good reasons for the crazy, but yeah, not the ones they were yelling about. I don't know Crazy1 at all, but Crazy2 lost a child two years ago. (her husband explained, later). As much as I really feel sorry for her (I can't even imagine how horrible that would be) it still doesn't give you liscence to shit all over the rest of the world.

[shocolate.livejournal.com]

I hope you've learnt your lesson - always defer big decisions to your husband, dear - you aren't qualified to make big decisions!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yes! I would MUUCH rather HE deals with the crazy than me!

[joanwilder.livejournal.com]

Okay. So it took me five minutes to stop laughing. I'm glad you put it down for posterity, cause we've all seen it and can testify at the trial--yours, after you spay her parts, or hers, after she stalks you and does you down ded! My god, you should start a 'Pet Shop of Horrors Wall of Shame' and put their pictures up on it--or better yet! Print it in the Free Gazette! You can't make stuff up this good!

I'm so proud of you--I'm sure it wasn't as funny at the time (eyes you suspiciously), or was it?

Thanks for saving teh kitteh!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

It's not often that I have to deny someone an animal, but it's never pretty when I do. People have such an odd sense of entitlement! Man, if *I* was the one wanting to buy, and someone (unfairly, in my mind) decided I was not a good home, I would probably bitch them out (in 10 seconds or less) then I would LEAVE and never come back. I might even write a letter of complaint to the management (in the privacy of my own home, NOT on their front counter). The end. I wouldn't try to negotiate, let alone threaten or start name calling. *eyeroll*

Funny at the time? Well, yes and no. It's sort of a nasty adreneline rush, when you're confronted with two angry women, but they were so over the top crazy that they were amusing.

[littleroo27.livejournal.com]

buying a pet for a christmas present is sign #1 that they shouldn't be sold a pet. Being batshit crazy is a good secondary indicator, lol! Poor thing, what a day!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Pets as presents is something I take on a case by case basis.

Batshit crazy? Just no. ;)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I meant to add, that someone (totally different person) asked when we stop selling animals in Dec. We were like, wut?

Well, don't you have to stop selling animals the week of Christmas? ???

Yeah, buddy, IT'S THE LAW! Idiot.

[1scout.livejournal.com]

My mind boggles whenever I think of the idiocy of the buying public. People think they're entitled to anything they want, any time they want it. We bought Crackers the budgie at a chain pet store because there aren't any smaller, family owned pet shops anywhere around here, where we would have rather had gotten him.
But your discussion with the crazies had me rolling on the floor. About the only good crazies are good for is entertainment.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yes, people iz weird!

They also lie, cheat and steal at a frightening rate. I've had people outright, bald-face lie to me about a return, on many occasions. And I'm sure these are people who would consider themselves 'honest'.

But they lie about when the bought an item or why they're returning it. I don't get it.

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

Actually, it warms my heart to know that there are pet store owners who will refuse to make a sale if they think the pet will be in a bad situation. Thank you for looking out for the welfare of those who cannot look out for themselves!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! I'm not a tree hugging PETA sympathizer, but yeah, I feel that it is my responsibility to make sure these animals are going to be cared for. Obviously, it doesn't always happen, but we do our best to match animals to people.

Some people are just terribly mis-informed (or plain old NOT informed) and I think it's our job to tell them why their pet of choice is NOT a good fit.

I've only had to refuse a few people. I've 'redirected' many others or just plain old talked them out of wanting that animal. (do you know how messy birds are? BIG turtles get? Louda parrot can be? Generally, I can get them to think it was THEIR idea not to buy the animal. *g*

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

whatta couple of loonies! you're better off not having them come in your store. I've worked at a lot of sales jobs where i had to deal with crazy customers so I can empathize.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there's no lack of crazy out there!

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I saw Clerks last night and when the guys were bitching about obnoxious customers I thought about your story.

[juniperus.livejournal.com]

jeeeebus. what fucking lunatics!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yup. A couple of cans short of a six pack! :D

[outofthisplace.livejournal.com]

oh, this should be on Notalwaysright.com...

[antisocial-nerd.livejournal.com]

Oooh my god. Ruthless!!! Hahaha. Hilarious on 'paper' though.

You're so good at handling the batshit crazy
^.^

[almostlifesized.livejournal.com]

You should post it here: http://notalwaysright.com/

Go you.

[arcanetrivia]

Good god!

So then they proceed to call me a bitch (to each other, not directly to me) and so she scribbles out 'manager' and says 'what should I put?" and I said, "Why don't you just put BITCH?"

LOL. That's awesome.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ya know, it took A LOT of restraint to not completely chew them out and call them on their teenage behaviour.

Needless to say, they did NOT come back today, when my husband was there.

[accioslash.livejournal.com]

I am NOT SENDING A CAT HOME WITH YOU TODAY.
Crazy1: How about tomorrow?

*headdesks* OMG, seriously, I need to go back to work again because I have completely lost that little filter that keeps you from saying all the things you really want to say to people. You can really see the tin hat on this chick.

There is not enough money in the universe to get me to work with the public ever again.