Assorted odds and sots. And a one person pity party (rl)

[tripperfunster]

First off: HALLOWEEN COSTUMES ARE FINISHED! *dances* I BEGGED Quincey to be megamind this year, but no, he wanted to be Fireball Mario. For those who aren't into video games, Fireball Mario is basically regular Mario (Bros) except he wears RED overalls with a white shirt and hat. This of course means that this costume must be MADE and not purchased. Generally i like making costumes, but if it's something UNINSPIRED like this, I'd prefer to spend the $30 and save myself the horrors of sewing. I even made the hat, which was it's own brand of fresh hell.

Other son has 'issues' about halloween and dressing up, but also has issues about "OMG want candy", so he has worn the same ghost costume that I'd made him five years ago. needless to say, it's too small now. I asked him what he wanted to be this year, and guess what? A GHOST! But this time he wanted to be a BLACK ghost. :D Oookay! So, sort of dementor-ish ghost.

Stupid customers at work were SO stupid this week! I honestly don't even have the energy to type about the massive stupidity, but suffice to say, that yes, you DO have to remove the plastic wrap from your filter inserts before you put them in your aquarium. Sort of like, you need to remove the wrapper from your chocolate bar before you eat it. duh!

My newest bead creation IS LOOKING SO EFFIN' COOL! I went with a more 'realistic' colour scheme, which was kind of risky, because caucasian skin tone beads are few and far between. (hence my earlier blue schemes) This one is Kirk/spock.

Speaking of Kirk, William Shatner was at Central Canada comicon this past weekend. He was booked for Saturday only, and I thought .. hey he's here in my city, this may well be my first/last chance to ever see him, I should do it! So I begged staff to work for me on Saturday, shuffled the kids' hockey games over to hubby and set to go see Captain Kirk. Except, when I checked the schedule the night before, it announced that he had switched to Sunday instead. *raeg*

I decided to go on Saturday regardless, because I'd never been to a comic con before. (just hp cons) Harrison (my 9yo son) wanted to go with me. He's into Pokemon and thought there might be some cool stuff for him to buy/see. So we get there, and he gets all weird. Well, weirder than usual. He has a bad habit of complaining when he doesn't like something. Everyone does it, of course, but he just ... can't stop. He's improving, but it's OMG SO GODDAMNED ANNOYING. Sort of like kids on a long car drive that say "arewethereyet? arewethereyet? arewethereyet?" the whole way. He starts in with "I don't like it here. I don't want to be here. Let's go home."

(we are just in line to buy our entrance tickets at this point). I say, Hey, just give it a try. You don't know what to expect, and neither do I, so lets get our tickets and see what it's like."

Two minutes later. "I don't want to be here."

So I left. He got all, "hey! Wait! I don't KNOW if I want to go or not!" But I was done. I seriously was NOT about to pay money to go somewhere where he bitched and moaned the whole time. Oh man, I was pissed. I didn't yell or scream, of course, but I got very quiet for a long time. I was so ripped off I could have cried.

I think I was so upset because .. it was like a con. Well, it WAS a con, but it had that sort of HP con excitement, even though I had no friends going there, nobody was waiting for me, or KNEW me, but it FELT like there would be. :D People were in costumes and joking around in line with each other, and it really made me feel ... lonely. It's like I suffered from Con-Drop without even being at a con.

I don't have any fandom friends in RL. Hell, I don't really have any FRIENDS in RL. I have lots of acquaintances. People I say hello to. A group of us might go for lunch every few months, but like ... nobody who calls me just to see how I'm doing, or invites just me out to lunch, or over for coffee or anything. *sigh*

And it's sort of compounded now because I end up with a bunch of other parents at my son's hockey practice, but there's nobody there that I click with either. And I"ve tried! Pretty much all of them have kid's my son's age, and I've invited them over, or out for coffee, etc etc, and yeah ... nothing. We might go out once, and *I* feel like we've connected, or had a pretty good time, but obviously THEY don't, since it seems to always be a one or two time deal, and then i get brushed off if I try again.

And it's not just me, Hubby has said the same thing about them too. My husband has a lot of childhood friends that he bumps into all over the city, but he also doesn't really have a 'buddy' that he hangs with either. The difference being, he doesn't seem to mind/care, whereas *I* am STARVING for social interactions.

Whaaa! Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm going to go and eat some worms. and by worms I mean chocolate

Comments

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Chocolate is a very good substitute for worms! I can't wait to see your next beading, and offer you a shoulder for the con disappointment. *hugs*

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I SO know what you mean about not having friends. It would be cool if all fandomers were in one big awesome city, and we could just hang out whenever we wanted, like a never-ending con. *sigh*

[schemingreader.livejournal.com]

I have this issue, too. I mean, I meet people and like them, but everyone is like, wearing blinders or something, can't get off the hamster wheel, can't look left or right.

I can't believe you do all these neat things with beads and charcoal and sewing costumes and writing. You are just a powerhouse of creativity and I think you might not mind how much I swear, also, and of course I wish I could hang out with you. But I fear IRL I'm too boring. I only ever want to talk about books and politics and sometimes baking (well, because no one will ever talk about sex anymore, hmph. It's like they're out of adolescence or something. Snobs.)

[akatnamedeaster.livejournal.com]

Oh hon *hugs* I can empathize with you so much on the friends thing. Like you, I have no one here who calls me or invites me places. I've tried to the same thing, inviting out the people I meet through my daughter's activities only to have it come to nothing.

We go out once or twice, I have a good time, and then never hear from them again. I try not to let it bother me, but it hurts and makes me feel like I'm an outsider. Well, like even more of an outside than I know I am. It sucks and I know exactly how you feel.

And if you're like me you keep on trying to connect.

Our husbands are the same as well, he has friends he's known since HS and sees occasionally but he's a hermit and couldn't care on way or the other while I'm lonely a lot of the time.

Thank goodness for the internet and fandom, otherwise I wouldn't talk to anyone at all.

[sumsumlovesyou.livejournal.com]

I've felt that way in my life before, especially because I'm usually referred to as 'the weird or quirky girl' in social circles, dating all the way back to elementary school. I think the best part of being married, though, is that you always have that one person to talk to and hang out with, even when everyone else makes you feel lonely. Guaranteed friend for life! Plus, a house with two boys in it with such fun unique personalities, you can't possibly get bored for too long!

Sorry your con didn't work out. If it makes you feel better, I've never been able to go to one before. That makes you cooler than me. :D

[xenafox.livejournal.com]

Awww *Big hug*

I know what you mean about con excitment! And then..con blues when you can't go/have to leave. That really sucks. I'm sure Shatner will be around again, he seems to have a good con circulation, but regardless it's sad you couldn't go.

Maybe you can time your next big trip at the same time as a con somewhere!

Around here...I don't have fandom friends either. You're not alone in that regard, a lot of us meet each other online and then meet irl but still it's only a few times a year. So I get what you mean to a point, since I do have friends I can hang around with even if they don't give a shit about fandom.

All I can say about those people who don't take you up on an offer to hang...THEY'RE TOTALLY BORING 8D

[foxestacado.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I guess I'm going to add my sympathy here about having no friends. Or, in my case, just a couple of friends, all of whom are busy or far away.

All of my acquaintances don't invite me anywhere, and don't come when I invite them to places. I've come made peace with that, mostly. I keep myself busy with all of my projects, and talking to fandom people online.

[accioslash.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, hon. But the reaction is interesting. Perhaps next time he'll make the connection and be willing to give it more time. I have to admit I was surprised he really objected. It took me YEARS to finally accept that when Katie told me she didn't want to be somewhere and wanted to go home that she really meant it. I kept thinking I was depriving her of the things all kids got to experience. But I eventually discovered that the only thing I was doing by dragging her to all these activities was make both of us miserable.

Some people make making rl connections look easy. I'm sorry we don't live closer. I could use a few more rl friends myself. *hugs*

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel. Sometimes due to my unusual personality I have kind of a hard tine making friends plus a lot of the people I have known IRL aren't always honest and pretend to like me when they really don't, which i find frustrating. I think you're awesome as hell if that helps.

[joanwilder.livejournal.com]

Awww, I'm sorry hon. I wanna smack that kid. After all the cool things you do for him; well, you can't expect a kid to actually think that way, so you can lay on the GUILT until he does!

I don't have RL friends either, for pretty much the same reason. I used to, but I think I've lost my touch, or scared them away somehow. I wish we lived in the same town--wouldn't that be something? I think you should come to visit me in the spring, and we'll drive the two hours east and spend some time with Synn...have our own little con.

I saw this on DJ's FB, I think, and it made me burst into tears, because sometimes I forget the truth of this:

[droxy.livejournal.com]

You have Milky. AND if we were closer together I would call you a and we would go hang.

Comic cons are differnt. They are really mostly a large vendor room, much bigger than HP cons. You have all sorts of fandoms but mostly anime, comics, and games. Not so much HP.

[lilyeyes.livejournal.com]

*hugs you tight*

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thanks hon! I wasn't even super excited about going, but once i got there, I guess it just dredged up that whole fandom squee feeling.

And yes, I deal with enough bugs and worms and stuff at work every day. I have no desire to eat them. Ever.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

As horrible as it is, your 'playgroup' story makes me feel much better about myself. That SO could have been me, if I'd actually KNOWN anyone to invite. ;)

I know I'm not alone in this, and it really does help to hear it. And yes, a big fandom commune? We could grow our own vegetables, write our own stories and draw our own porn! The only 'outsider' thing we'd need is the internet! :D

I am very much looking forward to the next Lubricus! <3

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I think I'm fairly boring in RL too. Having kids does that to a person! ;)

I don't like to talk politics, but i would happily talk about books and SEX!!!! and I don't know much about baking aside from how much I like to eat it! And we could swim together!

*sigh*

thanks hon. <3

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

OMG yes fandom. I think I would be so depressed and lonely without it.

It does sound like we have very similar social problems.

And honestly, I think I am a pretty good friend, when I have them. I listen, and empathize, and compromise, etc. I think I"m a pretty cool, fun, easy going person, but obviously, other people don't agree.

Thanks for making me see that I am not alone in this. har har get it??

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yes, my poor husband is stuck with me. :D And I'm really never bored, I'm just lonely. I have a great immediate family, and lots of pets to hug and get affection from, but I'd really like a girlfriend to chat with and dish about stuff with etc.

I'm lucky that my husband and I have very similar interests, but he's still not that bff girl I need.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

They ARE totally boring! THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE MISSING OUT ON! I'M TOTALLY AWESOME!!

*sits alone at computer* *sigh*

It's not like I've NEVER had friends. I"ve had lots, but I've moved, and other people have moved, and there's the inevitable 'friend break up' that takes place now and then.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thanks hon!

Yes, you sound VERY busy! I would think though, with your job, it would be great to have some friends that you can dump on occasionally. You do fascinating work, but it seems like it can be very stressful too.

Thank god for fandom. That's for sure! <3

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Harry has really been a work in progress this past year, and he's really doing much better, but there's still a long way to go. Most of the time, I just shrug it off and deal, but this time I REALLY WANTED TO GO! Not to mention that I could have left him with hubby and gone myself, but he WANTED to go, and I thought it might be nice to have some one on one time with him. (not easy when you have two kids that are similar in age.)

Oh well, I'm over it. Sort of.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks hon! You're pretty awesome too. Hell, most of my fandom friends are.

I just need to pack them all up and bring them home with me!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! I saw that saying on lj just a couple of days ago and was comforted by that truth too.

Yes, it's great that Synn will be moving closer to you! I'm jealous. We had a great time together at Lubricus, but it would have been EVEN GREATER IF YOU'D BEEN THERE!!! hint hint hint hint hint hint hint.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I have more than just Milky! If pets were people I'd be rich with friends. :D

I know it wouldn't have been anything like an HP con, but the whole vibe of it just sort of made me get that vibe.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Thanks hon! If we lived closer you'd be BEGGING me to leave you the hell alone. :D

[redheadsarehot.livejournal.com]

Move down to Georgia and be my local BFF!

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

wish i had the $$$ for a plane ticket, i would love to come visit you!

[sumsumlovesyou.livejournal.com]

Well, I know the internet doesn't seem like much, and that this might seem like a lame reach out, but I assure you it's genuine, but I'm always here if you ever feel like chatting or dishing out. I know I'm about a 1,000 miles away so no going out for overpriced coffee or happy hours, but my inbox is always open, and I love talking. Just remember that next time you feel like you need to hear from someone with estrogen. Plus, I just had a baby, so, I'm practically bursting with that crazy hormone!

[theficklepickle.livejournal.com]

Jumping in here to applaud this excellent .gif, which I'm now shamelessly pimping to all my friends. Thank you for posting!

[theficklepickle.livejournal.com]

I must admit, I got to the stage - after my second nervous breakdown - of wondering why the hell I bothered trying to connect with 'other people' at all. We've lived in this city for over fifteen years and the only people I know here are all in some way related to me - my son and his wife and the grandchildren, my mother in the care home, and my husband's nephew and his girlfriend. Other than that I know my doctor, the lady in the wool shop and the staff in the bank and that's it. All my friends are the people I know through fandom - some of whom I have known for thirty years or more - but who live some distance away. I just *cannot* have superficial conversations about rubbish with people who aren't on my wavelength; I'm not willing to commit the mental energy to it.

But that was a complete bummer about the con; my son used to do stuff like that too and I can totally relate. Now that he's in his thirties, his kids are doing it to him - and he copes much better than I ever did. There Ain't No Justice ...

[djin7.livejournal.com]

If you lived on my side of Canada, we'd be out lolling every other weekend. *nods*

[djin7.livejournal.com]

♥

[sra-danvers.livejournal.com]

"I BEGGED" ^^ Oh, I know about that. And know too about kids in the car :-P
Now that I think, my friends in RL are fangirls/fanboys! Most because I met in fandom and then in RL, but I have a friend, a man, who was my friend from teen ages and the I showed him this wonderful world ^^ I'm such a FANGIRL!!!
My husband have no friends, and he's so happy about.
But I love you dear!!! Though I'm so far, but no problem today with it, don't?

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ooh baby!! Good for you!

Where are you? I"m central canada and there is only one other fandomer that I know of here, and she's not into slash. And she's in like Scotland right now. :D

I do appreciate the offer hon, and may take you up on it. Fandom has been such a life saver for me. Well, not life saver, as I'm not that far gone. Sanity saver for sure!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Oh honey, the lack of snow ALONE sold me! :D

You could move to Canada, we have free healthcare! well, not FREE, but yanno, sort of free.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Well, I never pulled the type of anti-social oddness that my son does, but I was more than a handful, so MY mother feels vindicated, anyway. :D

I talk to people all day at work, which I suppose helps me not become a total hermit, but I really crave a deeper connection. I realize I"m not gonna find that 'bff' like I had when I was ten, but yeah, moving past the polite small talk would be pretty frickin' exciting.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

OH yes! You'd be BEGGING me to leave you alone. ;)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Very true, hon! I"m so glad I have all of my fandom friends. They are truly a bunch of very special people. *hugs you tightly*

[sumsumlovesyou.livejournal.com]

I'm in boring old Kansas City, Kansas. I don't know any fandomers here, although I have a gay cousin who loves HP slash, but he moved away. All my fandom friends seem to live outside of my country!

I will agree that fandom has been a life saver, for me in a literal sense. Someone I met through it really helped me through a very dark time once, the friendships I've made through it have been wonderful lifelines.

It's funny how something so silly really brings people together. At heart, I guess we're all just total perves! :D

[joanwilder.livejournal.com]

I think my 'fly all the way across the country for a con' days are over, sadly. Instead, we have to perfect the art of 'beaming up' and 'Apparition'. Don't think I'll be able to spend a grand that way, ever again.

But you could still come here!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Dude, it does not cost a grand to fly to seattle! (you are thinking of Europe, my friend!) Plus, the hotel was cheap cheap cheap! I spend for the entire week (or five days ...) what ONE NIGHT was at other places.

Hell, the cab from the airport was only $20!

You must come. I demand it.

[joanwilder.livejournal.com]

Tickets for spring next year are approx 400, add 200 minimum for hotel, and that's not including food or anything else. Easly 700, if not more. At least for me, saving pennies won't help. I blew my last wad for the UK, and since I don't work, the only other option is my IRA, and that just can't happen.

I'm not complaining, tripp, except that I'd like to see you. I sure as hell don't want someone coming along and starting a 'send Cyn to the con' comm or something like that. I've been to my share of cons. I'll miss them, but y'know, eating and bills first....little pesky stuff like meds and cat fud have to come first.

[demicus.livejournal.com]

That's it! No more tampons for him!

I want to see this Kirk/Spock beaded creation. I'm a Trekkie from way back. Whoa ... you almost got a chance to meet the Captain himself‽ It's crazy that I'm envious about that (even though you didn't). ;¬) Lordy! I've never been to a comic con either. It would be hoot to go with you (I think we may have the same twisted sense of humor).

*superloudsigh* I don't have any fandom friends in RL either (so I'll continue to stalk you online). (≖◡≖) Wish we lived in the same province. I'd love to haunt the cons with you!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! yes! No more tampons indeed! :D

Well, I *do* get out to Toronto every couple of years, so perhaps we could meet up one time? I'd really like that!

[demicus.livejournal.com]

Just let me know when & I'll be there! :¬)