Do you volunteer?
Oct. 10th, 2014 12:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tripperfunsterDoes anyone out there volunteer for stuff? I mean, charity stuff?
I've done my time on the parent/teacher council, and chaired my local business improvement zone meetings for a few years, but I've never done the 'soup kitchen' type circuit.
My youngest son is having a lot of self esteem issues lately, and I though that perhaps getting involved with people who need his assistance might make him feel more 'worthy' or 'needed.' Despite all evidence to the contrary, he doesn't feel like a good person. He's afraid that he's going to grow up to be a bully, or worse, someone with a gun in a watch tower. (okay, no more CNN for him!)
He's a lovely child, and is very conscious about being kind to others, but for some reason has a terrible sense of self-worth. He thinks that his anxiety problems are a burden to us and he feels badly every time he has a panic attack or doesn't want to eat at a restaurant because of his germ worries, etc.
He's seeing a councillor about this, but I fear that it's getting worse, not better. I really worry that he might be a candidate for suicide if he can't get a handle on his guilt and self worth.
Any thoughts? I've figured that we'll start small, with low to no commitment, in case his anxiety gets too high, but perhaps cleaning up garbage in the ditches near our country home would be a good start. And then, possibly visiting an seniors residence occasionally. Maybe even set something up where we could bring some animals once a week. Animals are always a good buffer, and the excuse that I would need his help would ring true.
I've called the closest residence and left a message with the director.
Any other thoughts or suggestions? My kids already take music lessons once per week, and I don't want to live one of those 'scheduled' lives, where we have activities 6 nights per week, but an hour or two here and there wouldn't clog up his free time too much. I was even thinking that we might do it during school hours. School is one of his major anxiety issues, and the thought of escaping for an hour to do volunteer work might just be the carrot he'd need to agree.
Edited to add: Obvs, I've made it clear to him that he is NOT a burden and that we love him and he's a great kid. Ohana means family and all that. He just can't seem to accept it.
I've done my time on the parent/teacher council, and chaired my local business improvement zone meetings for a few years, but I've never done the 'soup kitchen' type circuit.
My youngest son is having a lot of self esteem issues lately, and I though that perhaps getting involved with people who need his assistance might make him feel more 'worthy' or 'needed.' Despite all evidence to the contrary, he doesn't feel like a good person. He's afraid that he's going to grow up to be a bully, or worse, someone with a gun in a watch tower. (okay, no more CNN for him!)
He's a lovely child, and is very conscious about being kind to others, but for some reason has a terrible sense of self-worth. He thinks that his anxiety problems are a burden to us and he feels badly every time he has a panic attack or doesn't want to eat at a restaurant because of his germ worries, etc.
He's seeing a councillor about this, but I fear that it's getting worse, not better. I really worry that he might be a candidate for suicide if he can't get a handle on his guilt and self worth.
Any thoughts? I've figured that we'll start small, with low to no commitment, in case his anxiety gets too high, but perhaps cleaning up garbage in the ditches near our country home would be a good start. And then, possibly visiting an seniors residence occasionally. Maybe even set something up where we could bring some animals once a week. Animals are always a good buffer, and the excuse that I would need his help would ring true.
I've called the closest residence and left a message with the director.
Any other thoughts or suggestions? My kids already take music lessons once per week, and I don't want to live one of those 'scheduled' lives, where we have activities 6 nights per week, but an hour or two here and there wouldn't clog up his free time too much. I was even thinking that we might do it during school hours. School is one of his major anxiety issues, and the thought of escaping for an hour to do volunteer work might just be the carrot he'd need to agree.
Edited to add: Obvs, I've made it clear to him that he is NOT a burden and that we love him and he's a great kid. Ohana means family and all that. He just can't seem to accept it.
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no subject
Date: 2014-10-10 06:12 pm (UTC)Additionally, if your son would like a pen pal, I am totally up for sending the occasional Package Of Awesome from the UK. I remember what it was like to be 11 and scared of everything. xx
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Date: 2014-10-10 10:49 pm (UTC)How's the coroner thing going? I bet he'd have a ton of questions, if you're up for talking about work!!
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Date: 2014-10-10 11:18 pm (UTC)I'm totally up for talking about work - obviously a sanitised version suitable for a sensitive 11-year old!
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Date: 2014-10-10 11:37 pm (UTC)How is court? Is it mostly boring? Or is it very nerve wracking for you??
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Date: 2014-10-11 06:48 pm (UTC)Court is both boring and scary! The waiting is boring, but then there's the being questioned, and I really hate confrontation so I find scary lawyer questioning a bit intimidating.