Guys that are just wrong for us/oddball crushes

[tripperfunster]

accioslash and I were talking about the finer points of lusting after men who are WRONG in a sleaze-bag, douche sort of way. These are guys who are either assholes, esthetically not pleasing or just lewsers, but for various reasons, we want to fuck them.



1)Brad Garrett: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://z.about.com/d/tvcomedies/1/0/h/2/-/-/brad_garrett.jpg&imgrefurl=http://tvcomedies.about.com/od/tildeath/ig/Til-Death-Cast-Photo-Gallery/Brad-Garrett-as-Eddie-Stark.htm&h=468&w=351&sz=176&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=aEfITllykwtrcM:&tbnh=128&tbnw=96&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbrad%2Bgarrett%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26rlz%3D1T4GGLR_enCA206CA207%26sa%3DN
I have a thing for really tall men. I don't like basketball, so I generally pick comedians.

2)Bill Murray: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/54/039_31742~Bill-Murray-Posters.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Bill-Murray-Posters_i1632108_.htm&h=425&w=339&sz=31&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=yp0YX-D_B-Y02M:&tbnh=126&tbnw=101&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbill%2Bmurray%2B%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26rlz%3D1T4GGLR_enCA206CA207%26sa%3DN
Again with the funneh. Little factiod here, my name, Tripper comes from the Movie Meatballs. I decided right then and there (at the tender age of ... 9 or so,) that I wanted to be Bill Murray when I grew up. This eventually morphed into me wanting to screw him instead. (the liklihood of either is probably about equal)

3)Sean Cullen:http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.diamondfield.com/imgs/talent/seancullen/headshot-seancullen.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.diamondfield.com/seancullen.php&h=375&w=300&sz=18&hl=en&start=4&um=1&tbnid=aBEN44gdWDm01M:&tbnh=122&tbnw=98&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsean%2Bcullen%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26rlz%3D1T4GGLR_enCA206CA207%26sa%3DN

Not a looker, but unbelievable funny. (do we see a theme here?) Do I even have to mention, that my first husband....was a comedian? No, you probably already guessed that.

4)Ryan Stiles: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Stiles

tall. funny. Big nose. Dream come true.

5) Snape,(and/or Alan Rickman as Snape) of course, I really shouldn't even have to say it.

Shit, there are more, but I can never think properly as soon as I hit the 'post' button in my eljay.

I would love to hear about inappropriate men that you lust after. Don't get me wrong, I'd screw Johnny Depp in a New York minute, but I'd push him out of the way to get at Bill Murray. *sigh*

Comments

[kittehkat.livejournal.com]

Yay, I love Ryan Stiles, too! :D

[accioslash.livejournal.com]

I love asshole comedians. You already know I'd fuck Ron White 'til I went blind - btw, tell me you watched his You Tube "Drunk in Public" video. But I also love Denis Leary. The moment the man started singing the Asshole song, I was his. And Stephen Lynch is another one. Who cares if he's gay? Bonus!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I saw the one where he talks about being kicked out of a bar. Drunk in pub-LIK. That one? He is very funny!

Yeah, Denis Leary. I'd have to say, the smoking thing would be a turn-off for both of them. Not even that they smoke, but that they SMOKE SO FUCKIN' MUCH!

Really, I guy doesn't need the date-rape drug with me, as long as he's funny!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

yeah, there's sumthin' sexy about that guy! (it's the shoes!!)

[kittehkat.livejournal.com]

And by shoes, you mean giant schlong, right? ;)

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

You don't even want to know what I mean when I say 'wing-tips'. :D

[accioslash.livejournal.com]

Yep. The Tater Salad one. *swoons*

I hate smoking. And I really hate assholes. I wouldn't want to spend more time with any of these guys than it would take for me to hike my dress up around my ears, but that's really all I'd want. I like to date nice men, but I love to fuck assholes. It's a sickness. Periodically I have Al do something especially douche-like to keep the spice in our marriage.

So if we googled your ex, would he be anyone we'd have heard of?

[aleoninc.livejournal.com]

Yeah, comedians give me a total hard on too. An ace sense of humor will pretty much make up for any otherwise glaring defects, be they physical (not conventionally attractive) or personality-wise (they can pretty much be a complete asshole in all other respects). Case in point: Lewis Black. He's older than my parents, not exactly a prime physical specimen and he yells like a raving lunatic but if given the opportunity, I'd be on him in a second. He actually reminds me a lot of a guy I had a crush on in high school. They both have a fine appreciation for mid-diatribe gesticulation.

And then there's John Oliver. A tall, gangly, English goof who looks like a stretched out, middle-aged Harry Potter. What's not to love, really?

And Jon Stewart. I don't believe anything more needs to be said.

I do lust after people not affiliated with the Daily Show, I swear. I just can't think of any at the moment.

*looks a icon*

Oh shit! Hugh Laurie! How could I forget?

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! I had to google him, just to see! Nope. He gave up on comedy (and anything else that resembled a job) because it was toooooo haaaaaarrrddd. /whiny voice.

But when I met him, he was up and coming, and very funny and cute too! And short and blond, pretty much not at all what I look for in a guy, so I figured it MUST be love, right? *eyeroll* plus, he drove a motorcycle

He is/was one of those guys that was naturally very talented, but had zero work ethic. Fame and fortune was supposed to just fall in his lap, he didn't want to work for it. *sigh* Not that I'm bitter of course!!!!!eleventy11!!

:D

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I didn't include Hugh, because lots of us think he's teh smex. (although, he certainly isn't your typical heart throb.)

And Jon Stewart? Too cute to be on my list. Yeah, I'd tap that in a second, but he's also good looking, so he doesn't fit my oddball criteria.

Now i have to go and follow your links to see who you lust after! <3

[accioslash.livejournal.com]

Hm. Zero work ethic, huh? That sounds scarily like me. I just have to get by on my charm and good looks. *cough* Thank God for low expectations. *glee*

I can't picture you with someone short. Though the motorcycle helps. I can never get involved with lazy men. *I'm* the lazy one in the relationship, thank you very much. I need someone who likes to let me spend money on stupid stuff.

[aleoninc.livejournal.com]

Yeah you're right. Jon Stewart is far too cute to be fairly included on this list, but I was too deep in the Daily Show mindset to shake it.

And also true about people thinking Hugh Laurie is sexy, though I'm sticking by my claim on that one. He's a total goofbag. Yes, I just made up a word.

Aw crud, I had just remembered another name to add to the list and now I've gone and forgotten it again. I clearly need to go to bed.

[(Anonymous)]

Bill Murray? Ryan Stiles? Out of my way ladies, they're MINE! LOL! I love love love them both. And I have a thing for noses. They don't have to be large, but they do have to be interesting. Good grief, the noses I lust after!
Uuhhhhhh, too much information? *blushes*

[1scout.livejournal.com]

The above post is mine, my computer logged me off for some reason.
scout

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

:D Yeah, but when the noses are big AND interesting? Zowie!

And no, there is no such thing as TMI! :D (unless you're talking about shit, and then .... yeah... tmi! :D

[venturous1.livejournal.com]

that Oliver guy is pretty cute!
and Hugh Laurie, sure! :D

[venturous1.livejournal.com]

Hugo Weaving, *drools*
as Elrond, as V, anything but that junkie he played in his lst movie.

[redheadsarehot.livejournal.com]

I love your list! My favorite is Ryan Stiles. I love the big tall goofy guys with big noses. hehe. My good friend thinks Drew Carey is hot. I dont see that one at all.

Someone very high on my list is Conan O'Brien. Oh the hot tall funny redheadedness of him. I'd eat him up! espeically when he had his strike beard. *drools*

[venturous1.livejournal.com]

Hugo in Peaches:
http://bp3.blogger.com/_WkKZJVG5wTk/RhCTyRlUkQI/AAAAAAAAOvY/oe9YLvytSAU/s1600-h/Peaches_207.jpg

Hugo in Bedrooms & Hallways
http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k26/venturous1/agent3.jpg

and let us not forget Agent Smith:
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1936103680/ch0000745

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Well, he wasn't a midget, just not as tall as I generally like 'em. He WAS pretty cute ,though, but that can only take you so far, when you're a bit of an ass and a lazy knob to boot. (not too lazy to go golfing all the time, mind.)

I am pretty lazy myself, but I have never been on unemployment. He would be on it every winter, because he was too lazy to find a year-round job. (and why would he, when he could sit on his ass and collect the dole?) *iz getting bitter all over again*

Well, enough about him! :D

Thank God for Lance. Nuff said. plus, he's really tall.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'd tap that Oliver guy too! :D

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! I didn't recognize who he was until the last pics! Very diabolical!

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

yeah! I don't generally go for red-headed guys, but Conan is quite fuck-able. And very tall! A priority of mine!

[accioslash.livejournal.com]

Bitter doesn't suit you, hon. It gives you frown lines and who needs those?

I've never dated a man under 6' (that's six feet tall and not six inches, right?). I love it when they tower over me. And I hate a man who doesn't work. I'm lazy now, but when I worked I worked enough for three people. Nobody who knew me before can imagine that I haven't found another job yet. Apparently they haven't discovered the lure of teh pr0n.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

everybody knows how much I lust after Hugh Laurie, Ryan Stiles is damn cute too. I was in the live audience for Whose Line once and I kept trying to do an eye contact thing to get Ryan to pick me but it didn't work. He was a riot though.

[megganisms.livejournal.com]

Oh man, i love Ryan Stiles. He's so awesome. Ooh, I'd probably do Lewis Black just because I know it'd be ridiculously funny to tell the story later (he'd be talking the whole time). Uh, Snape is a definite on my list of bad men that I would like to pull into my love chamber (hohoho). Mmmm, and I'd so do Stephen Colbert, who i bet is kind of an asshole in real life.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'd love to see Whose Line live! Every time I've been in L.A., it's been on hiatus. :(

I did get to see them here, when they were doing a Whose line type rip-off improv show, but we were much too far back for eye contact. Yeah, I'd probably die if they called me up! :D

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Why, why, why are assholes so sexy? *fucks them all*

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I did get picked by Teller once when I saw Penn and Teller live. I was right in the damn front row. Whereabouts is "here"?

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I would definitely do Colbert, although I mentioned this to a friend of mine and he thought I was nuts. I think he is so funny, and the plays that character note-perfect (which is probably why a lot of people think he's an asshole in real life). If he played it either more straight-faced or more over the top he wouldn't be as funny.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

"here" is Winnipeg, Canada.

Teller ... There's another couple of guys who are not very sexy but I'd 'do' them too. *has obviously low standards*

Comedians, magicians, jugglers, BUT NEVER A MIME! I DRAW THE LINE AT MIMES!!

[megganisms.livejournal.com]

i have no idea, but we should start a scientific study to find out! >> I believe Mr. Snape is in exam room one...*cough*

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I used to have a massive crush on Penn like I do on Hugh Laurie now. It died out largely because I found out (the hard way) that he's attracted to women who are the total opposite of me. :( Cool that u are from Winnipeg. Every Canadian I've ever known was super nice.