Warnings: Necrophilia (whut?), Cpreg, and a smidgen of Angst
Mac and PC were chatting one dark and stormy night when Yahoo Messenger allowed a virus through onto PC. PC coughed and spluttered; his jolly round face turned a putrid color and he gasped and wheezed. Clasping his motherboard, he swayed for a moment before collapsing to the floor, circuits sizzling.
Mac gave a startled beep (but a cool, Indy sort of beep) and rushed over to PC's side. Mac frantically tried to reach PC, worry slowing his connection.
"PC, can you hear me?" he yelled helplessly.
PC reached up with his last ounce of strength and grabbed Mac by his peripherals. "Scan... me. Virus... scan..."
Mac opened another desktop on Leopard and did a quick search for "viruses, PC." Following the nearly indecipherable directions, Mac went through a series of checks.
There was only one more thing to do. Only one thing that could be done.
"I'm sorry, my friend," Mac said, his speakers deep with grief. Without waiting a moment longer, Mac shut PC down.
RAM clenching with hope, he waited until PC was all the way down before rebooting him. For long, breathless seconds he watched and waited. There it was, the safe mode start. Oh, joy of joys!
He clicked on safe mode and sat back, certain that this would work. The Windows screen came up, showing a progress bar at the bottom, but in a blink of blue, PC was gone, lost on and endless reboot cycle.
"Nooooooooooooo!" Mac screamed, then, in a move more heroic than smart, he ripped open PC's casing and plugged himself directly into PC's hard drive.
Mac had been dreaming of such an interface for so long; the reality was so perfect, the contact so intimate, that Mac couldn't stop his RAM from growing bigger and bigger. For a moment he simply revelled in the feeling of being so… so plugged in to PC. It was… awesome.
And then, to make it even better, as Mac moved back and forth in PC's hard drive, revving himself up, he felt a spark. A tiny little spark, but one that, when utilizing PC's fan, he was able to bring to life.
"We can make him better," Mac said, not recognizing his own voice.
Mac watched, entranced, as PC's monitor flickered and finally, finally began to glow. Unable to stop himself, he moved again inside PC's hard drive.
"Oh my zeros and ones!" PC exclaimed, nearly shocked back into an unmountable boot volume error at waking to find Mac sliding in and out of his hardware. "Mac! What are you—Nghng!"
Mac's speakers rumbled with his chuckle. "PC. I—I've wanted to do this for so long. I'm only sorry it had to happen like this."
"Mac, but… the virus. Oh, Mac, how will I boot with myself now that I've given you a virus?"
Mac smiled fondly, stroking PC's many cords. "PC, I know all about the virus. Don't worry. We're having safe interface."
"Is that possible?"
"Of course it is. And besides, I'm a Mac. I'm impervious to your viruses."
"Oh, Mac."
"Mmm, PC."
"Oh, Gates, yes! Defrag my hard drive!!"
The Angsty/Cpreg Epilogue:
Two weeks later, when PC got back from Florida with a new hard drive, a glowing tan, and a set of Mickey Mouse ears, Mac was waiting nervously.
"PC? Do you… do you remember…"
PC smiled blandly. "Hello, I'm PC. Who are you?"
Mac felt his processors break at the way the incompetent techs had wiped his PC's memory. "Oh, PC, whatever will we do now?"
PC blinked and tilted his head. "Hmm?"
A miniature laptop scuttled forward then, rubbing against PC's infrared. "Mommy."
PC backed away slowly, not comprehending. Vista, the new program installed on him by the techs, kept flashing continue prompts, but it was useless.
Mac gently placed a thumb drive in his USB port and PC understood.
"Our baby!"
Mac beamed, the return of his beloved finally complete. "Yes, darling PC. This is our baby."
PC snaked a cord around Mac as they stared in pride at their offspring. "He's so big. At least a fifteen inch monitor."
That's okay, I had to make KTG research main frame because I couldn't remember if it was a PC thing or not. Most of these terms? *shrugs* I'm sort of very peripherally aware of them.
I was trying to figure out how to make a pun on someone's software turning hard, but that doesn't make much sense, does it?
Glad you liked it!! Now I need to write that Spongebob smut for you.
Okay, I'll try. Let me start over though. (and this is actual, true comment porn drabble, cause I'm too fekking lazy to write it for realz.
"I ... I don't know, Mac." said PC nervously. His heart was pounding and he had begun to sweat under his stuffy suit. He wasn't used to INTERFACING with other computers and he was afraid of unplanned POP-UPS.
"Here," said Mac, with a knowing smile, "have a COOKIE."
"Oooh!" crooned PC as he took a BYTE OMG I am so sorry for that!!!!! "I love COOKIES. SPAM too!"
"I know you're a NEWBIE, but I think you'll EXEL at this."
"Really?" asked PC, a light dusting of crumbs on his upper lip. Mac leaned in a licked them off.
"Oh yes," he replied, plugging into PC's EXPANSION SLOT, "Get a load of my BANDWIDTH."
Mere seconds later, PC came in a TORRENT. He looked at Mac lovingly. They had obviously formed an ATTACHMENT.
Bwahahah! OMG epil fail! *promises to stick with art from now on!* And yeah, I mixed my internet and my computer metaphors. DEAL!
Hahaha! I'm amazed you were able to think of this many computer terms. Confess! You had to google some of them, didn't you? Even if they were pretty *cough* BASIC. ;D
Though, seriously, this could easily be my new OTP.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 04:36 am (UTC)*is broken*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 04:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 04:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 11:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 02:18 pm (UTC)Comment porn aaaaaand GO!:
OMG, I must really love you a LOT! (yes, yes I do, as a matter of fact :P)
Date: 2008-06-02 04:36 pm (UTC)Title: Plugged In
Warnings: Necrophilia (whut?), Cpreg, and a smidgen of Angst
Mac and PC were chatting one dark and stormy night when Yahoo Messenger allowed a virus through onto PC. PC coughed and spluttered; his jolly round face turned a putrid color and he gasped and wheezed. Clasping his motherboard, he swayed for a moment before collapsing to the floor, circuits sizzling.
Mac gave a startled beep (but a cool, Indy sort of beep) and rushed over to PC's side. Mac frantically tried to reach PC, worry slowing his connection.
"PC, can you hear me?" he yelled helplessly.
PC reached up with his last ounce of strength and grabbed Mac by his peripherals. "Scan... me. Virus... scan..."
Mac opened another desktop on Leopard and did a quick search for "viruses, PC." Following the nearly indecipherable directions, Mac went through a series of checks.
There was only one more thing to do. Only one thing that could be done.
"I'm sorry, my friend," Mac said, his speakers deep with grief. Without waiting a moment longer, Mac shut PC down.
RAM clenching with hope, he waited until PC was all the way down before rebooting him. For long, breathless seconds he watched and waited. There it was, the safe mode start. Oh, joy of joys!
He clicked on safe mode and sat back, certain that this would work. The Windows screen came up, showing a progress bar at the bottom, but in a blink of blue, PC was gone, lost on and endless reboot cycle.
"Nooooooooooooo!" Mac screamed, then, in a move more heroic than smart, he ripped open PC's casing and plugged himself directly into PC's hard drive.
Mac had been dreaming of such an interface for so long; the reality was so perfect, the contact so intimate, that Mac couldn't stop his RAM from growing bigger and bigger. For a moment he simply revelled in the feeling of being so… so plugged in to PC. It was… awesome.
And then, to make it even better, as Mac moved back and forth in PC's hard drive, revving himself up, he felt a spark. A tiny little spark, but one that, when utilizing PC's fan, he was able to bring to life.
"We can make him better," Mac said, not recognizing his own voice.
Mac watched, entranced, as PC's monitor flickered and finally, finally began to glow. Unable to stop himself, he moved again inside PC's hard drive.
"Oh my zeros and ones!" PC exclaimed, nearly shocked back into an unmountable boot volume error at waking to find Mac sliding in and out of his hardware. "Mac! What are you—Nghng!"
Mac's speakers rumbled with his chuckle. "PC. I—I've wanted to do this for so long. I'm only sorry it had to happen like this."
"Mac, but… the virus. Oh, Mac, how will I boot with myself now that I've given you a virus?"
Mac smiled fondly, stroking PC's many cords. "PC, I know all about the virus. Don't worry. We're having safe interface."
"Is that possible?"
"Of course it is. And besides, I'm a Mac. I'm impervious to your viruses."
"Oh, Mac."
"Mmm, PC."
"Oh, Gates, yes! Defrag my hard drive!!"
The Angsty/Cpreg Epilogue:
Two weeks later, when PC got back from Florida with a new hard drive, a glowing tan, and a set of Mickey Mouse ears, Mac was waiting nervously.
"PC? Do you… do you remember…"
PC smiled blandly. "Hello, I'm PC. Who are you?"
Mac felt his processors break at the way the incompetent techs had wiped his PC's memory. "Oh, PC, whatever will we do now?"
PC blinked and tilted his head. "Hmm?"
A miniature laptop scuttled forward then, rubbing against PC's infrared. "Mommy."
PC backed away slowly, not comprehending. Vista, the new program installed on him by the techs, kept flashing continue prompts, but it was useless.
Mac gently placed a thumb drive in his USB port and PC understood.
"Our baby!"
Mac beamed, the return of his beloved finally complete. "Yes, darling PC. This is our baby."
PC snaked a cord around Mac as they stared in pride at their offspring. "He's so big. At least a fifteen inch monitor."
"Well," Mac said slyly. "I am the Mac daddy."
Re: OMG, I must really love you a LOT! (yes, yes I do, as a matter of fact :P)
Date: 2008-06-02 04:40 pm (UTC)I love this pairing like breathing!!
Nice artwork!
Re: OMG, I must really love you a LOT! (yes, yes I do, as a matter of fact :P)
Date: 2008-06-03 04:38 am (UTC)Re: OMG, I must really love you a LOT! (yes, yes I do, as a matter of fact :P)
Date: 2008-06-02 05:03 pm (UTC)That was techno-hawt! *g*
I was thinking of writing a drabble, but uh..I'm such a techno-lewser that it would go like this
PC looked at Mac, leveling his eyes in a come-hither way.
"Nice ... keyboard."
"Thanks," replied Mac, nervously touching his ... mouse."
Okay, I'm tapped out of computer terms already! :D
Re: OMG, I must really love you a LOT! (yes, yes I do, as a matter of fact :P)
Date: 2008-06-02 08:46 pm (UTC)I was trying to figure out how to make a pun on someone's software turning hard, but that doesn't make much sense, does it?
Glad you liked it!! Now I need to write that Spongebob smut for you.
Re: OMG, I must really love you a LOT! (yes, yes I do, as a matter of fact :P)
Date: 2008-06-02 09:00 pm (UTC)Re: OMG, I must really love you a LOT! (yes, yes I do, as a matter of fact :P)
Date: 2008-06-03 04:36 am (UTC)"I ... I don't know, Mac." said PC nervously. His heart was pounding and he had begun to sweat under his stuffy suit. He wasn't used to INTERFACING with other computers and he was afraid of unplanned POP-UPS.
"Here," said Mac, with a knowing smile, "have a COOKIE."
"Oooh!" crooned PC as he took a BYTE OMG I am so sorry for that!!!!! "I love COOKIES. SPAM too!"
"I know you're a NEWBIE, but I think you'll EXEL at this."
"Really?" asked PC, a light dusting of crumbs on his upper lip. Mac leaned in a licked them off.
"Oh yes," he replied, plugging into PC's EXPANSION SLOT, "Get a load of my BANDWIDTH."
Mere seconds later, PC came in a TORRENT. He looked at Mac lovingly. They had obviously formed an ATTACHMENT.
Bwahahah! OMG epil fail! *promises to stick with art from now on!* And yeah, I mixed my internet and my computer metaphors. DEAL!
Re: OMG, I must really love you a LOT! (yes, yes I do, as a matter of fact :P)
Date: 2008-06-03 05:12 am (UTC)Though, seriously, this could easily be my new OTP.
Re: OMG, I must really love you a LOT! (yes, yes I do, as a matter of fact :P)
Date: 2008-06-04 02:39 am (UTC)Re: OMG, I must really love you a LOT! (yes, yes I do, as a matter of fact :P)
Date: 2008-06-03 12:26 pm (UTC)Re: OMG, I must really love you a LOT! (yes, yes I do, as a matter of fact :P)
Date: 2008-06-02 08:28 pm (UTC)*dies*
That was great...
*giggles*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 01:29 pm (UTC)pc's expression = win!
You continue to amaze me with your amusing takes on unexpected gay-lurve!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 02:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 02:12 pm (UTC)It's fantastic.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 02:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-03 12:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-03 04:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-03 03:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-03 04:13 am (UTC)